Was it meant to be this way?
Was mankind meant to live in war and conflict?

What would the world be like without Sin?
From a sinful perspective, it'll be boring,
with no conflict and war,
with no anger and bitterness,
with no jealousy and hatred,
with no malice and curses,
with no lust and perversion
Pitch perfect. Sinless.

See my point? This is where I can evaluate your human philosophy.

Now, would it be a good thing or not?
Does the world sound less interesting now?
Does it sound like a robotic pre-planned galaxy that is blameless and pure in every way and sight
Tell me. Was it all meant to be that way?

Take a moment and think it through.
Were we really meant to live in perfection?
Then how do we see the light when we have not known the darkness?
Then how do we know happiness and fulfillment when we've not seen grief and disappointment?
How do we then conclude that life is FINALLY complete, when at the first place, we are so perfectly complete without sin.

Got you thinking even more? Do you think Sin is that bad now?
I'm not going to conclude for you here tonight,
Neither am I trying to convince you that Sin isn't Sin after all.
Honestly, if you ask me, I'm asking the same things.
Is sin really sin after all?
Or is the devil tricking me into shaking your foundations.

Now, take some time to reflect on a perfect world.
Beaming smiles and joy constantly,
A world without sexual impurity and nakedness are present simultaneously]
Nakedness from the world inside out. Literally. From the INSIDE. [note that I'm highlighting inner personality more :P]
Peace and serenity, with jazz playing in the background.
There is even no need for tolerance because there is nothing to be tolerated
We'd love each other too much.

Is that how it was suppose to be?
Forgive my shallow thoughts, my Lord.
It is obviously beyond my childish comprehension.

Conclusion?
I've fallen short of His highness to even gasp his wonders.
But seriously, I wonder.
A world without Sin.
Fun or no Fun, thats for you to conclude now.

Credits;

Nicole Kidman and little Ollie.

Rohnie Tan Wei Chern

Jealous people who are looking on now ;P You know who you are.

I still enjoy thinking. But a word of caution, it brings you to no conclusion.

Forgive the mess, Thoughts all over

-jOhN "when God made You" LiM-

How do I continue taking steps forward when You don't allow me?

I'm letting room for clearance
But the luggage ain't getting through the passage
Won't you even acknowledge my presence?
Won't you even flick an eyebrow to look into my eyes
To see the sincerity of my cry
Won't you just let your hands out
To hold me for the last time

I'm not going to let this just past me by without a fight
But the battle is just on my side
As you look by the distance beyond the hillside
Clouding my cries to you
You look on with much joy

As I torture myself day to day
With questions and doubt
But I guess I'll never be able to work against your gravity
Its going against me
Letting go will be this hard
As every second goes by
A thought of you comes by as well

Pointless ranting of you. But its the last dedication to you.
Ironic. Singing I'm over it, when I'm still not over it.

Over it? Naa. Plain words of sophistry.

-jOhN "R" LiM-

See, all I want You to do is be my Love. But now, its fine.

Here I am again.

Mum says I must always tell if I'm not happy.
Am I?

I guess I just hate not having control of the situation and plan. I envy the people that can just take things as they are and accept life as it comes. I tend to get left behind with Disappointment. When will I ever learn to move on. Even with this issue with You. Just the past week I seem to have did the best of the worst things that anyone could have thought of. I am clearly a specialist at destroying the 'moment'. Call me "potong-stim" or "party pooper" but I just tend to not play along with practical jokes and crap talk sometimes. Its a real pain in the ass sometimes when I give you that stare after a lame joke.

What is my point? I'm unsure myself. That is how confused I am right now. Hahaha.

Tonight I'm just gonna write whatever that runs into my mind. I'm always describing my confusion. I like showing my vulnerability. I like showing that I am a wreck. But at the same time, I like to potray a strong and independent John, ready to take charge, ready to face the challenges ahead of me. I think we all have our moments when we step up and uncover the fearless self inside. I'm not all weak either. Its just, I have such an unhealthy thinking pattern that it eats me inside out so often times. I constantly fall back into the pit of depression. It can somehow get rather frustrating watching me go back and forth and never breaking forth into the hills.

Earlier on I mentioned I envied people that appeared somehow relaxed and without worry. Yes, I do envy them, so much in fact. I can't stand the fact I can't live my life everyday just playing the PS2, sleeping all day long, and careless about their CGPA/results/academic performance. My results are constantly banging in my head, my decision for Uni applications is persistently bugging me, my relationship with You is relentlessly harassing me, my relationship with my friends is at an alarming level, worries about my identity and individuality is annoyingly pesky. I always have this thought that I don't really know my true self. Truly. Everyday I'm getting to myself a little better and the more I know myself, the more I hate myself. Weird isn't is? Hey, but man can never be contented. Neither am I. I'm always wanting more, wanting to get beter, wanting to be more mature, wanting to think different, wanting to develop at a faster rate, wanting unrealistic things and just wanting instantaneity.

(= This world is just getting more screwed up by the second, and I ain't making it better. I like to think I'm weird and boring. Which at a certain level, is true =P but who cares la.

Oh well. Crapped loads tonight already. Just another post about worries and my twisted self.

-jOhN ♪ LiM-

Tonight.

Messed up. Zoom. Waited. Cried. Thought. Gazed. Dreamt. Wished. Swayed. Fell. Fear. Hurt. Corrected. But finnally Loved.

I thank You for that.

Time and time again, it is always the Loved ones that I hurt constantly. But You never gave up. At least I don't think you did :P

Is it worth it? I'm honestly unsure. Yet.

I've not gotten an answer yet Lord,

But I'll wait, in patience.. Because I know I'll hear you, or at least, You'll hear me..

The past few days I've been really troubled about the situations of life. I'm toying with certain ideas for my future and it all seems so unclear. There were just too many things to be taken into consideration that I just lost looking at simlpe faith.

But surrendering it all to God is all I can do at this moment. Won't let confusion blind me.

A few things I took note of listening to Dr. Bernard Blessing this morning... Hope it blesses you as it had with me.

"Surrendering our basket of weaknesses, fear and doubts to find hope in it"

"I am a solution, not a problem"

"Turning the ugly situation into a beautiful miracle"

"How can God teach you peace without letting you know suffering. How can God teach you grace without letting you knowing cruelty. How can God teach you love without you knowing hate"

Time and time again, I come broken at the feet of God. All I am is just a servant of God, ready to be used by what I have. If he had looked upon my sins and judged me based on what I've done, I would have been bound to the depts of hell a long time ago. But yet, He is gracious to still choose me, weak and small as I am, to turn curses into blessings.

It has been a long week. Much has happened. Much. But I'm not here to tell you, "NOW I have the answers!". NO! I don't. Not even a bit. But I'm trusting. In what? In the future that God has for me. I don't know what it is. All I know, it is going to be exceedingly beyond my expectations, far better than I would ever imagine. He has a plan for me and each and everyone of us. Are we giving it to Him?...

Life is one interesting journey. So much to learn, so much to go through. At least I know I'm not alone :)

Good night people. Have a great week ahead. All the best to the Taylor's A-Levels students and welcome back to classes ADP students. It is going to be a whole new interesting semester.

-jOhN "faith" LiM-

Not till I hear you tonight...

.... Waiting in silence ....

thinking

more thinking

.....

givin myself to this ....

doubts ....

troubles ....

reasons ....

confusion ....

as I wait ....

in agony

:) Will You?

Longing to be by your side.

-jOhN "*.*" LiM-

Just like the old times. Like literally. Spookingly enough, we were all wearing the SAME outfits the night we went out together the last time in Kiara.

I'll spare the details but here is to more nights of black :) Cheers

Dinner - Rush Hour 3 - Camwhores@carpark - MahJong

Yes, In the shopping cart.. We were playing push-push in the carpark


Ber-gaya-ness


This is what happens when a car passes by~

:D

Woohoo.. Mahjong!

-jOhN "mahjonging" LiM-

I just feel so small in this big place.

I feel so messed up and confused.

Back to square one.

Where is this little life heading towards?

Tell me.

Yo people!

At last I found time to pop by my little blog. Holidays have been rather productive since. This is actually the first time I actually have a goal for my holiday. All these while, I never had an aim or a certain goal to achieve in my holidays, but this time its different. I have a list ;) *wink*



Oh well. Let us just highlight SOME events :)


Friday night@Curve for Abigail's birthday. Happy Birthday again girl! Headed on to Hartamas after that for a long night chat with ma peeps. It was really good after a really long time of not having those kinda conversations. I like mind boggling topics that are debatable and still questionable. I can't help it but to disagree to only agree. But its just me. If you can convince me, then you've really convinced me. If not, you're convinced :) Oh well~



Saturday night at Mardi Gras. Yes, we were TOO early. Oh well, I was still glad to see faces I've not seen for ages! Caught up with most of them. Hanged around a little till they decided to switch to Santuary. I decided to detour to Laundry instead and meet with Dee & her Irene with her extremely pleasent boyfriend. Had loads of fun that night and went home woozy :) Thanx Chu & EeJin again ;) Hehehe...

Popped by PC fair with Vinz while Jo & Dee did some shopping in KLCC on Sunday. Flew back down to Curve for a nice meal and later on drinks at the Apartment. Got a few bartenders to show us tricks :P And guess who we spotted too? :P

The past few days I have been reading and YES, I finally watched Hairspray! Woooh. Lovely. Well, to prove how much I actually like it, I watched it 3 times in the same day! :P Had time to watch Lake House as well, starring Sandra Bullock and Keanu Reeves. OMG man this movie. Can cry man. I SO TOTALLY RECOMMEND THIS MOVIE! Anyone has Sleepless in Seattle? Or Jerry Maguire? Need to get hold of those too. Oh well~

Hmmm. No wonder I haven't updated for this long. As I type right now, I just feel like deleting everything. Fuh~ Weird night.

I shall add more juicy details another night la. Tonight is just not the night. Don't feel right. Hmmm~ I have also been taking a few evening walks alone. Thinking. Just thinking. There has been just so much thoughts in my mind. Fuh~~~ :'(


Looking forward to the next few days. Still have a number of things to accomplish this holiday. C'mon baby!



-jOhN "holidaying" LiM-

omg HAIRSPRAY!
Woohoo.. Its SOOO gonna be in my TO-DO list this holiday!

I love musicals!.. Can't wait to be in one myself... Auditions anyone? (:
Cheers to Music! It makes the world go round!

-jOhN "singin" LiM-

Die Calculus! Die!
Ok, probably not... At least not literally... Just, go away :)

Finally done with that. Not gonna talk much about that because I don't wanna be so negative about it, neither am I gonna be foolish to proclaim everything went well. It didn't.

For now, I'm putting trust in God and focusing on the rest first. Till then. More prayers needed ;) Muchos appreciated! Econs tmr, then Accounting..

Came across this verse last night before I closed my eyes to rest. Hope it encourages you too :)

1 Peter 5:7 Give all your worries and cares to God, for He cares about what happens to You.

Matthew 6:27 Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?

-jOhN "trusting" LiM-

Smile kids. Smile.

Don't lose the joy of life. Truly.

Things will get better. And they will :)

Exams on Monday. And then the holidays with a list of things to accomplish.

A sneak peak on the list:

4. Write a song

And yes, we have began the process of getting a good hook tune to it already. Now, anyone has a Mac to lend me?

Life is only what you make it to be. And I'm gonna make it Mine :)

-jOhN "smiling" LiM-

Sweet..

First the rain..

Then LeeHom's new album..

Lovely Sunday afternoon, with not so lovely circumstances around me

Had not finish my Calculus take home test, had not finish my economics final project..

And there I layed on my bed staring at the rain and sky, listening to the tunes of LeeHom..

As I lazed there, thoughts began to sprang... of You, of Life, of my exams (OMG 1 week countdown!), Calculus (OMG?!), friends, Family, Dog?, LeeHom (hHAHAhahhahAHAHhahaa)...

Thing was, I was so sunked in the depression that I didn't want myself to get out. There I was again, worrying about my exam. Worrying. Yes, Worrying. Time and time again i fall into this hole of "worry-nism". Hate it, but it sticks with you. Time to get out of the mud hole and start working towards the goal. Sigh. Though I don't wanna begin with defeat, but I know I started this semester in bad terms, so, gotta face the consequences..

Oh, and the Dog you ask? The verdict? NO

Living with that decision too. Dad decided instaed to get a car~

Yeah, Car vs. Dog

You see, irronicly, I don't get a dog because I'll be leaving next year, but thing is, if we get a car, I'll be leaving next year too. So like... ~.~" We'll see how things work out la.

Till then, LeeHom's new album RAWKSSSSSS!!! Not so chinked-out anymore, very much more emo as Caryn said. I LOVEEEEEEEEEEEE >.< ABY, EE JIN, RYN, and urrrr~ ben?(hahahaha) and everyone else, lets go!! Woohoo!.. Sorry, forgive me "hyperness".. LeeHom fan here (:

Alright. Enough crap for the night. Its calculus for the week! Urgh~

Getting into studio this hol. Probably get some emo song up soon :P

Till then, enjoy the rain people!

-jOhN "calculating" LiM-

ps: Ben is naughty :P

Lebih Dari Pemenang
Lebih dari pemenang
Dalam Segala perkara
Iblis telah dikalahkan
Oleh kuasa darahnya
Jika Allah di pihak kita
Siapa dapat melawan
Kita lebih dari Pemenang

Hallelujah
Kibarkanlah panjinya
Yesus Raja segala Raja!

Its funny how songs can speak to us. When I was in Indonesia, this particular song spoke quite a bit to me. It really woke me up to realisation that its more than being the winner (thats the title of the song). It goes on to say that when God is on our side, no one can be against us. Sweet :)

Sis is back in Perth now. Lonely nights again, miss sis already ): And I'm currently on my bed with the laptop stealing a wireless internet line somewhere nearby :P Hahahha.. Was just randomly bringing the laptop to my room to watch a movie before I slept last night and just decided to check if there was a line, and low and behold, I found a free access line. Let's just pray the person won't discover me here :P

For now, I'm all cosy in bed, dreaming of my little puppy which I want to own soon. The verdict will be tomorrow. Parents just got back from Singapore, gonna have discussion with Dad over breakfast tomorrow morning. He will have to give me an answer by tomorrow morning if I can get the Pommy or not because he is gonna leave for Surabaya tomorrow afternoon and only get back on Friday and by then, little baby would have been sold already. So, hope along peeps. I really want this boy so badly. I could practically hear him calling out my name. I've visited the shop 4 times now since Saturday. The shop owner must think I'm planning some robbery.

Finals exactly in 2 weeks from now. Have to get prepped up ESPECIALLY for calculus. Agreed with Hariz to have group study sessions but I hope it will work out in time for the exam.

Sorry for the lack of pictures in this post. Don't have any on this com. Pray that the next post will be on my new little pup. And yes, I think I already have a name for him :P

-jOhN "pommy" LiM-

Ah.. The night was too productive so I just have to blog about it.

Its a good thing my sis is back. It was really FULL fledged family night. First of all, after YEARS and literally, YEARS, we finally had movie night together to watch Transformers together. So sweet right? I know, thanx thanx..haha.. I liked that night. It felt, Full :)

Sweet...

Then there was tonight. Had nice dinner together. Since I was having a bad throat, so we got hold of some Yong Tau Foo. Great meal together. Talk talk talk talk...

And well, since my dad now, STILL on high mood.. First, laptop la, then sis popped down, then bro left for Hillsong in Sydney la, then new com screen la, and I shall not go on, BUT.. This morning, before college, we had FAMILY breakfast (wow).. and YES!.. My dad went, "I think its time we get a dog"... OMGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THANK YOU JESUS!!!!!! So yes, I immediately recited my proposal! Wooohoooo! Pomenarian!!.. And yes, I was fanatic. Right after college, while waiting for my porridge to be "ta pau-ed", I quickly rushed over to the pet store near by to look for one, AND WOOHOOOO they had 2 in stock!... Weeeeeee!!!!

So yes, tonight, after dinner, we checked out the dog! :P Adorable sial!!! Dad & Mum quite pleased with him.... 7 week old dude... :P I loveeeee!!!!!!!!!!! can DIEE!!!!! :'( sooo cute!!!!.. hahaha.. Excitenessss sial.. sorry.. english also all over d.. hahhaha... :P :P Forgive the horny pregnant look... I was just so in birth with the lil pupp

Got new pair of sunnies too :P and ate honey-dew lo lo :P I misss ;P hahahhaha.. Forgive poserness :P

Ahh.. loved the night... it felt, particularly different, better, we felt as a family... Sis was finally around and all.. Bro back from Sydney, Sis back from Perth, Me Melbourne soon? WAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHA :p

Oh Oh! And we even painted the house together this afternoon!! :P Talk about productive!. hahaha.. Randomness man.. Mum was just like... Lets paint the wall.. hahaha.. Cute nesss...

Wooohoo... Peace! Forgive obscenity..

John Lim was here!

And yes, the collage up there.. was done last night our of randomness!.. ahahahaha

And there was this pic, with my old dog which I grew up with. SHE was the LOVE OF MY LIFE OK! I practically grew up with her.. We even have pics of us sleeping together on the floor! :P Her name was Cansy (don't ask me why :P) Yeah, sis just went, "John, see la, last time also dun like to wear shirt at home, now also.. Why ah?".. hahaha.. I really don't know why.. :P i dun haev to make more choices in a day. I don't have to choose which shirt to wear. haha!! :P spot the cute lookin baby on the left? THats me too!! wooohoo...

Ah... I love her.. and I'm gonnna love my new dogggyyyyy!! :P Still scouting for dogs but Pomenarian is top of list... SO Dog breeders or owners out there!!! GOT ANY PUPPS TO GIVE AWAY???? I'M A RING AWAY!!!!!! QUICKK!!! ;)

Peace out peeps... Its the weekend again... Wooohooo...! (Final Exam in 2 weeks John~~~~Dayyymmm)

Next priority: Get CALCULUS TUITION ASAP!

Dear Lord,

I thank You Lord, for I am truly blessed. I have seen your blessings and your glory so now let me share it with the people around me. Allow me to spread the joy you have given me and family. May you keep my family close to your heart and watch our household each day as dawn breaks and as the moonlight shines, may you protect our little home and grant each of us good health each day. I am ever in debt to You my Lord, Father and Friend. I can't thank You enough. Truly, you are good, in all times. Good and Bad. Continue to see me through my days as well as in each of my friends' lives. You've been good, and you will be good. All glory to your Name, Lord..!

Amen!

-jOhN "ruff ruff" LiM-

Been pretty sick after giving all on Sunday.

Need rest.
Exams coming.
Calculus dying.
Me? Dead.
Totally need to focus and get the game going already before exams end of this month.
And then.....
TRAVELLING AGAIN FOR HOLIDAYS!!.. muahahaha... I don't care!.. Muahahaha...

Zoe Joy!! Was over on Sunday night with sis..

Didn't get the change to blog about it yet, but yes, farewell Xi Qian ;)

I don't fooos.. but when I do~~... :P

Dear Lord,
Grant me health again in my body. Take away whatever "tonsilities" I have and help me to regain focus in class and finish my homework! I pray you'll also EXTEND all the time I have in the world so I can studyy moreeee, playyyy moreee, and meet more of my friends again! Especially those back from high school. I miss everyone of them. Lord, grant me focus and good memory for the next 3 weeks before my exam and I do pray for good results! I surrender my future in Your hands once again! Thank You!

Amen!

Good night peeps! Have great days ahead!

-jOhN "sick" LiM-

In Christ Alone

I place my trust

And find my glory in power of the cross

In every victory

Let it be said of me

My source of strength

My source of hope

Is Christ Alone

It has been a long one week plus since I have got back from Jakarta and back into the cycle of life. It has been crazyyy since. 2 major test and 1 more coming this Friday!! AHhhhHH! I've not been out and homework has been crazy. But all is good. Still surviving. Thats why I make it a point, school days - Home, Holidays - AWAY!.. hahaha

Sis is back from Perth for 2 weeks and she will be back again in September. What's up man? So easy to come back when you're working meh? Hahaha.. She's blessed ;) I'm pumped up for worship this weekend. Let's just pray that all things will run smoothly in His presence this Sunday! Wooohooo! And you're invited :P

Nothing has been happening much lately, though I too am very much peer pressured to make this Saturday a memorable one. Hmmm.. Wonder what I'll plan. Probably another jazz gig. Hmmm.. Any takers? :P Yeah, thats actually a very good idea. Invitation open, just ask! :P

However, my main point for blogging tonight is to simple dedicate this post to 3 special people I've known :)

FIRSTLY, Super-Sexy-Uncle-Chan-Yee-En

Yes, Ernnie.. Well, I've got to say, it has been eternity since the last time I've met him. En, I've got to say he is one remarkable dude. He just has leadership and personality stamped all over him. Ever ready to stand up and not shy away from circumstances, and ever willing to help a friend in need. Though I have to admit we have drifted somewhat, but it stays. The memories and the things you've done for me. I admire you dude. I truly dude. And I pray you continue to be that strong friend to everyone around you. But take it easy man, sometimes, heroes need a rest too :P Rock on my dear friend! Happy 18th bro!

SECONDLY, The-Mini-Size-Smaller-than-Guitar-Boy-Isaac-Lim-Huan-Wei

Isaac has to be the first prefect that sticked with me throughout our prefect life since form 1. He has grown sooooo much ever since! Physically as well as mentally. He is taller than me ok!!! hahahah.. I'd just love talking music with him and getting input from him over computer stuff :P Hahahah.. I know you've always been there man. Its just cute to see how you've really matured and its you who is giving me the better advices and support. Truly, I cherish every moment we have and every moment we WILL have man ;) Hahaha.. I love your laughs man... :P The giggles. All the best to you and dear Sophie ok? :P Stick with her, tight. Happy 18th man. (Pssss, You're legal! Haha)

THIRDLY, The-Best-Bro-Cum-Mentor-Leng-Chai-Lim-Jo-Weng

This one never cease to amaze me everytime we talk. Its like I'm only getting to know him everytime. This guy is one interesting dude and totally unpredictable. The more I get to know you man, the more I see how fantastic of a person you are. Thank you boy, for everything from my red shirt (which you still have~~), to the drinks :P You never know how much of an impact you have done in my life. Truly, sometimes, I can be totally hopeless but you're always there to shine back hope into the seemingly hopeless situation. Get it?.. Hahahah.. Its alright. As long as you know that I'll be there for you as much as you have been there for me bro. Cherishing every moment spent. Happy 20th uncle! Gone are the teen years for you. Muahaha.

So there it is. I do apologies if I have phrased anything the wrong way. Thank you guys, for being my friend. Truly. 3 very special people :) Alrighty... Its gonna be another long remainder of week till the weekend. :( Pray my soar throat won't get worst. Oh, and I'm gonnna try a new concept now. I'm gonna end every post with a prayer to God :) I'm just gonna pray to Him just like how you can too. Simple, direct and true :) Try it one day. It helps :) Anyway, have a great week ahead! God loves you, and so do I! ZZzzZzZzzzz

Dear God,

I pray you give me strength and tenacity beyond myself. It is gonna be a long month till my exams end of this month. I do pray that I'll stay focus and I'll finish my work on time. Lord, sustain my health and I pray I'll please you in everything I do. Continue to guide me in my everyday, and continue to be my source of light. I choose to trust You and I know You'll never fail me. Oh, And I surrender this week's worship into your hands! Use me Lord, Use the whole team!

Amen!!

God bless,
-jOhN "appreciative" LiM-