Due to a certain friend's request to add more WORDs to my blog rather than pics, here is one WORDY post. Gonna touch on anything that comes to my mind. So, don't bother my wondering mind. It runs everywhere (=
I guess, its only natural to talk about life thus far, being away from all comfort and familiar faces. It has it's privileges and disadvantages at the same time. I guess being all alone, the first thing that comes to mind is "YES! Scandals ignite!". I guess we all have our fair share of dirty laundry, but it all stands down to how matured you are to handle or to manage your dirty little mind. Fine, if you don't agree with me on this, then I stand alone (: Hehehe. Well, but I guess I've never been able to shake off that Good-dy Good-dy boy looks till this day. It has its good and bad too. Being on board with this kind of face means PROBLEMS cease to be attracted to me. Even in life, I tend to be on the good books of people, "John? Ah, he's JUST that 'nice' guy". Thats it. JUST that 'nice' guy. Yeah, thats the down side of having this good-dy looks. John is just this nice guy, boring, Hey-I-Need-Help guy. Don't blame people for doing that. I've always had this impression on myself, that kinda like Hate-Missing-Class attitude, and yes, till this day, I've never slept in a single class before. Shocked? I dunno why either. I guess I just don't like missing class, except my Add Math class back in Form 5. Amarasingam. Remember him anybody? Gosh! I can remember how to spell his name. Hahaha. Oh well.
Now, back to the ups and down of being alone in this foreign country. Well, disadvantages? You have to start from scratch. All from the beginning. New friends, new room, new life. And if you're not outgoing enough or tend to cook yourself up in your room, you'll just just die of loneliness. I do admit it can get rather lonely sometimes but you have to put effort into everything you do. Building relationships, friends, life.
Talking about effort, I've always believed that Your life is all for your taking. I've mentioned about this recently. I never believed in "money WILL drop from the sky" concept. Never. I always believed that if you want something you have to work for it. If you want good results, study hard. If you want to get to a certain Uni, WORK for it. If you want to chase someone, RUN after him/her. If you want happiness, BE happy. If you want a promotion, WORK hard! If you want to see failure, then just sit there and let life pass you by. Basic logic I guess. Its good motivation to get you moving in life. Very basic, too basic in fact. But its we just sometimes fail to see the basics. We sometimes just fail to get back to the roots of everything. Our roots. Our humble beginnings in life. Our friends that we trusted back then, our first. Our very first.
Life never fails to bring new and exciting surprises. One moment, I was deciding to go for SAM or ADP, the other moment, I was deciding to go off to the States in Aug08 or Jan09. The other moment I was choosing Uni's in the States and then the surprise SIA interview that brought me here. Who would have ever thought. But its all in the GRAND MASTER PLAN. Our little painting of Life. Can't wait to see it unfold as I take each step, closer and closer to our Creator.
Being away was always on my mind. I'd always knew my place was not in Malaysia. Well, I can say that FOR NOW. I try not to keep my options close but I knew it was time for me leave. Packed my bags, and to Singapore I came. Not even close to a second that I had ever regretted coming here. I'm not saying life here is a bed of roses. It has not been. I'm forced to grow up fast, beyond my years. Its people that teach you the most crucial lessons in life. Who'd ever knew I'd like flying this much. Yes, though it wont be something I'd do long term, it has been very rewarding. Who'd knew I got the "Best Trainee" award for my batch. Who'd knew I'd met "YOU". Who'd knew things turn out the way they are now.
But the one thing I hope is that I will always stay true to myself. Though I am still discovering each day who is this John that I know, but I do hope that I will not end up lying to myself about who this child is. This little John. I want to know. I want to know who am I behind every mask, behind closed doors, behind the tears in His eyes. I really hope I will turn out to be the person that God has intended me to be. Through all these experiences the past 19 years and 8 months of my life. Discovering is just a joy. To know and to experience. To feel and to express.
Still remember Your FIRST? I hope I've found You. I hope that was IT. I hope to know you More. I really don't want to be disappointed. I don't want to be let down. I want to Love. I want to let loose. I want to reveal my heart to the world. I want to express my gratitute and affection. I just want to let you know how much I respect you. I just want to let you know how much I appreciate you thus far. I want to know whats it like to finally say "I Love You" to the person that I truly Love and in turn, be Loved.
John is mad. Hahahahahaha. My thoughts are just everywhere. Disorganized in my little mind.
So, what else do You wanna know about me? (: ooo Dangerous question. Hahaha.
I'm just this little confused boy in this crazy world. Searching for his Identity and place in this complicated world. Finding my place. Living in my little world.
Btw, I was just browsing through the blogs and all and came to realised how much I miss singing. Yes, I have officially abandoned the once lovely voice :P hahahhaa.. No la, I still sing the shower, OCCASIONALLY.. and me and my batchmates still go for KTV, but I've officially not SANG SANG le. Sad hor? I came by Janice's myspace page and remembered the time we performed in Alexis Ampang. Check out her music. Its lovely :) I miss! >.<
Too much words already? :P I've spoken yet so little. Hahaha.. More to come ok? Flying off to Hanoi tomorrow and then to Taipei-LA already. See you guys soon!
-jOhN "<3">
