So is this how you "kick" someone out?

Don't get me wrong. I ain't blamming you guys for doing what you did, but I'd appreciate it that you'd ask me first. Yes, it is the Fishing LEAST you can do. Really. I'd thought too much of you. I honestly don't need anymore reasons to be disappointment with the likes of you. But I'm going to refuse to blame him.

Before you read anymore into my words, DON'T GET ME WRONG! I'm not pissed for what you did, I'm just pissed that you assumed. You thought. But if you would just come up to me just once more, and ASK, not even apoplogize, You don't even have to, I'd smile and forgive.

I get it. I really do now. Humans. The weakest of all species. I'm ashamed to be called one.

I tend to over blow and over think things, but how then can I highlight the urgency of the matter? If you don't understand simple english, I'M BEING RUDE FOR THE SAKE OF GETTING YOUR ATTENTION.

At least you don't know who you are. WTH~

"My gawd! What has happened to John?".... ;) I've just got ya where I want ya to be..

-jOhN "~.~" LiM-

And so it is...

From then, from now. I can't. I just don't know how to understand anymore. Pain? Ever heard of the line that goes, "I'm not in Denial". You get the picture. There is just no more essence in me. Is that all I can do? Reminiscent of the past or just blame it..

But is there anyone to blame or should there be anything to blame? I choose. I've chosen.

Look at me again, won't you? Just lay your eyes on my heart and hear it cry, won't you? Did you actually see me, or did I see you? Did you actually choose me before anything else? I'm just an epitome of disappointment and confusion..

In and out. Out and in. In and in. Out and out. You get it don't you? I've seen. And now, I will see..

How can you guys just look rom a far and scorn at me with disgust? I'm utterly speechless. At least warn me. But then again, you're just gonna do it to oblige to the teachings. I don't appreciate patronism. And I KNOW when you're real. Trust me. Its a gift. I hear, I see, I smell, I know. The only reason I am the way I am in front of you is all an act of negligence and isolationism. But I want your care, so much, but yet I want you to hate me at the same time. Love me, Hate me. Play me by my ear and cut it. Run your hand through my hair and burn it. Smile at me with disgust. Love me, Hate me..

I've lost it all together. Its beyond it all. Really. Its not as simple as you think it is, but yet, it is that simple. I just want you to accept me. It doesn't mean you have to approve of my actions or join me. All I need you for is You. Can't you just go beyond what appears to be and look into the hollow of my eyes. ..

Reject my actions but Accept my sanctions. Don't behave like me but Do bereave my darker side. I just can't stop thinking how'd You feel about me. After all I have done to you. I know you forgive me, I do, I honestly do. But I can't forgive myself. I just can't...

I don't blame you for what your side have done. But I blame myself. Its all me. Self pity? Self mutilation now sounds good. Suicidal? Kindling..

To you out there, don't worry. Destiny has its way to go about. The only thing I am wondering is how you'd work around it. You have one tough job to begin now. Or are you all the powerful?..

Working through my eskimo friend. Just like you said it would be. Life goes easy on me, mostly..

This is terrible writting. Forgive me? I won't..

-jOhN "( : )" LiM-

PS:Recommended hearing for such moods, DAMIEN RICE.

Woah..

So much to update but so little time. A brief one till I add some pictures to it.

Rushed down to Singapore for the Raya Holidays and had a BLAST there! I'm so going down there again in December with some mateys. Can't wait!

Till then, Hectic October is not over. Oh well.

Anyway, I'm leaving you with a clip of me singing at Alexis the other time ;) Hope you enjoy. Its not the full video :P

Love ya peeps.

Been so busy the past few weeks, need to breathe again.

But I'd prefer being busy than free. No shitty thoughts, no waste of time, no shit ass stupid childish dumb misunderstandings and being productive.

I'd probably have a full plan till the end of the year already. Woohoo?

Tentative plans

Prepare for the SAT which I will be seating on the 3rd of November.

Apply for the TOEFL which I will seat somewhere in November too.

Finals on the 4th-7th of December.

FUN with Aussie mates who will be back in December. Road trip a must

Choosing Uni's. Applying for Uni's.

Catch up will beloved people.

2007. This year, a year worth looking back. So many good and bad. So many.

Gosh, I'm already reflecting. Yes, if you've not caught up with time, the year is ending and the freaking end of the world is coming. So need to disattach myself with the world already.

Till the next time, Find Love my friends, let Love be the highest aim. It gives life. Truly. If your love ain't giving you life, it ain't the right love.

-jOhN "breathing" LiM-