This is for You, Jo Lin

Well ideally, I shouldn’t be writing here now but I should be attending Leo. This is how it all started. I had stormed off in frustration after school and just sped home on my feet. It was a walk of thoughts. As I was enjoying the HOT weather, my mind ran with thoughts. No, not horny thoughts nor vicious thoughts either. I was reflecting on what we, as human kind should do and how we behave sometimes to different circumstances.

I had agreed to do my Oral with Eu Jinn, yes ORAL. Well, on the other hand, Jo Lin had meant to do the Oral too with either one of us. But Mr. Mail only allowed 2 to a group. Thus, leaving Jo Lin helplessly alone without a partner. She even turned to Sarak for help! Anyway, that’s not the point. We ended up in our routine arguments over petty issues. She was feeling unfair that she’d get a partner and more or less blamed me for it. But what I brought her to attention to is that if either one of us were left out, would that also give us the liberty to call it unfair? Wouldn’t it be unfair too to the one that was left out. I mean, c’mon its something we have to accept, you don’t have a partner, then move on find another. I face that too sometimes. So and because of that she ended up being all Emo and I tried to get the frustration off my mid by doing some English. So now, after school, I just got so frustrated by the way we were behaving and rushed off and missing LEO. I just wanted some time alone to think over the situation and my actions.

Well, if you can’t read between the lines, all I was saying is that Jo Lin was at fault and it didn’t have to be brought to such a matter and well, somehow I demanded for an apology in my cold treatment. However, for all I know, I need not wait for her to say sorry, but as ME, John Lim, as a cell leader, as a best-friend, as a classmate, as a human, I could have all the opportunity in the world to say sorry. But I choose not too. It’s wrong, definitely. But today I have shown a vulnerable side of me. A weak part of me. My pride. As I walked on the streets of SS2, thoughts of self reflection and forgiveness just clouded my thoughts. I’m a kind of person that doesn’t say sorry. Really, I’m all egoistic, proud, unforgiving in nature, and I keep hurts deep in the corners of my heart. I still do not understand the read meaning of forgiveness. I really don’t understand how someone as Jesus would forgive the ones that have hurt and betrayed him. His example goes leaps and bounds. Truly, I’m humbled by his experiences and yes, it will be my challenge this day to CHOOSE to forgive those who have hurt me in different ways. I don’t want to lose a friend just because of some petty Oral business because our friendship goes a far way.

Incidentally, it is her Birthday tomorrow. And I guess it will be the best present I can give her. Forgiveness. Jo Lin has always been complaining why I’ve not written a post about her, well, Jo, here it is. This is for You. I’ve come to know of this bubbly girl when I transferred from A.C.S. Klang to SRK Taman SEA when I was in Standard 5. Jo Lin was probably one of my best friends there already apart from Sanjay. We were always racing of whom would pass up math homework faster. Really, thinking of it now, it was silly. We would race to the teachers table to hand in our books. You can imagine, John VS Jo Lin in racing! You should know the winner ;). But point is, things kept working out for us and our friendship remains till this year. Though we have constant arguments EVERYDAY, yes EVERYDAY but yet our friendship remains. Before I move on, thanx Eu Jinn for coping with us :P. I can say that we’ve sticked together through thick and thin and yes, You will remain as my best-friend till the time comes. But through it all, I know Jo Lin is such a beautiful friend and has been with me and heard me out with all my complains, weird and critical comments, and gay remarks.

Jo Lin, if You are reading this, I’m sorry for showing my tantrum and leaving LEO. I’m sorry if I have chosen Eu Jinn over you for ~ORAL~. I’m sorry I lost your Add Math Book which I still think I didn’t. I’m sorry for the shouting I’ve done. I’m sorry that I can’t make it this Saturday. I’m sorry if I’ve ever made you sad. I’m sorry if I’ve ever call you fat and I’m sorry if I stole your heart with this post. Happy be-early Birthday!

Forgive thee,
-jOhN “repenting” LiM-

ps: Thank you for the some of you that have sensed my frustration and have tried to comfort me. Really appreciate you care and concern. Cheers to you too. You might just have a post of your own too. ;)