Was I ever meant to be the way I am.

Did You create me to be as I am? Did you intend for me to lie here tonight with tears gushing on my cheeks, alone, just me, with my heart wide open.

Did you allow me to feel these feelings? Did you see how much I had to go through or can You see how much I will go through in the near future? Will You be there for me?

I lie here tonight, with so much emotions. Feeling so lost, away, Far away, from the land I once called home, or even from the land I now call home. I don't feel belonged. I really don't. Not anywhere, not here nor there. Not with them, and neither with you. I am alone. Lost and confused. I am in pain, will You let loose of me and release me?

I suppose the two will never match. It was never meant to be that I should end up in this place. Or at least I'd like assume so. Why did humanity take the wrong turn? Why did You ever choose to be the judge? Why must one be right and the other wrong? Why must we always have a winner and a loser? I'm neither. And it kills me. Each day. Can't You see it? Can't You?! CAN'T YOU! I'm in pain. Everyday, every day.

I can't do this anymore, not by myself. Not anymore. And until You plan to do something, You're gonna lose me, fast. Its time for an Intervention.

:) A silent night, amidst the breeze on a cool night in Houston

-jOhN "GMT: -5" LiM-

Perth :) Had a chance to meet up with Jean Yi in Perth. Its been ageeeeeeessssssss since we've met. We had lunch together and afterwards she had plans for the afternoon so I decided to go back to have a short nap. We were suppose to meet for dinner to have Chilli Mussels! But~~ I OVERSLEPT!

Nagoya ^^ Short lived but fulfilling :) Did my flight with my SNY mentor whom I flew with a year ago to Korea. It was all about food this time around. Nagoya is famous for their Eel, or Unagi which they call Hitsumabushi. The wonders of Japan :)

Did I even mention here that I'm planning a little trip to Tokyo for my 21st birthday in Business Class on our A380 :) I really hope to comes true...

Apart from all these traveling, I've been thinking a whole lot.... its 4 months to 2010, a year of HUGE changes for me. I really hope all turns all well. I really do. Pray with me, will you? :)

-jOhN "travels" LiM-

.Desperate.