It was just You and me and the moonlight,

Staring at the stars,

I told you,

"What if...."

 - silence -

"What if what?"

"What if I told You, You mean the world to me"

"Haha~ What are you getting to?"

As I sat upright, I held your hand tight to my chest.

"You, Mean, the WHOLE entire world to me"

You sat up right at that moment, took awhile to look into my eyes. Your lips curved up slightly with the hint of your tongue as you shrugged you shoulders and squint your almond shaped eyes. You we as cute as ever, just like the day I first looked into Your dark hazel eyes.

You took me by my hands, squeezed them for a slight second and scoot on closer to have your lips touch mine. Just right then, the stars just seemed to shine brighter. As I closed my eyes, the world stopped. Just then, I knew, I knew so well, that my life was meant for this moment. To be able to hold you in my arms, and mouth the words "I Love You".

Love, knows no bounds. Infinite possibilities of definitions. Love.

Known to many, but not truly felt by all.

Fantasized by many, but not truly experienced by all.

Longed by many, but not truly achieved by all.

Recently asked a friend if he was happy.

His reply was Yes.

I asked him, where do you find Happiness?

He said, from friends, family and himself,

And then I asked, but what if you can't find happiness there, where else?

Where Else?

What Else?

I'm not Happy. I don't even remember being Happy.

I want to be Happy. I want to feel elated, I want to feel that sensation of fulfillment, I want to feel excited about everyday, I want to feel driven and motivated, I want to know that I am heading the right way, I want to feel joy, I want to smile and not knowing I'm smiling, I want someone to ask me why am I happy, I want someone to tell me that I look happy.

I want to hide it all. Sigh. Back to the skies, thats where I'll find the answers? Closer to You.

-jOhN "Loving Me, Loving You" LiM-

HK
HK
San Francisco
Golden Gate bridge@San Francisco
Batchgirls Pooja and Aishwarya@San Francisco
New Haircut, new chic glasses
Avenue of Stars@HK again

Where do I go from here?

Life's challenges only proves to be such a pain in the ass. Yes, in the ass. I'm sick of all the crap you're throwing at me. Its time to prove to the world I'm worth so much more than what it has been treating me. I'm surrounded with so much insecurities. Trying so hard to prove to the people around me that I am capable, capable of performing and destroying. I'm crumbling. Each moment has been more pain. I'm sick to the bone of how people has behaved. But why? Why do I try so hard to force my opinion on others? Why do I expect so much only to be disappointed over and over and over again. I need someone to show me the light. Are you afraid of me? Do I scare you with all my opinions? Do I scare you with all my manifestations? And did I disappoint you?

I'm such a mess. Time and time again I seek for answers to my questions only to reach an end. A question only leads to more questions. I'm tired. Really tired.

I just want to rest. Lie in your arms, put my head to rest. Let my tears flow onto your lap as you caress my hair. Hold your hand tight close to my heart. Hear your gentle whispers in my ear. Curl up to feel a sense of security we've felt years ago in the womb. Smell the sweet gentle sea breeze. Would you be my save room, my sense of security, my hiding place, my home.... Its so cold outside. I just want to let down my guard in your presence.

Is it suppose to be this way? Why am I the only one feeling this way? Tell me, do you feel this way too? Confused, afraid, hurt, young, lost..... AGAIN.

-jOhN "needs his amazing grace" LiM-

Still in Hong Kong, but at least I'm back from San Francisco...

A lil preview before I put on more pictures.

On another note, I've been feeling even more down than ever. This flight didn't really help it either. My whole "runnning away" scheme doesn't seem to work whenever I'm alone in my room, but whem I'm out in the cities, I love it, I forget all my worries, I get lost in the whole spirit of the city both San Francisco and Hong Kong. I even had a falling out with my supervisorS on board this flight. Yup I did. Knowing me, never giving in to push-overs. I'm strong in character and will never let anyone call me a liar. I quote, "A LIAR". How dare he. Anyhow, the issue is kind of resolved, but the akwardness is very much there. Sigh, very disappointed how they handled it. And they call it Leadership~ hmph. I can go on and on about this but I shall not now. I shall keep it for another day.

I'm moving when I get back from Hong Kong. Moving from Tampines to Sengkang. Will have pics of my new place and new housemate up soon ;) Hahaha. I'll still be living with Emily but we have a newcomer now ;)

Oh, and did I mention? I'm GOING TO MANCHESTER in May!! :P Wooo!! and Jody is bringing me to LIVERPOOL too!!! Woo!!

Ok, well, enough for now, its 3am here in Hong Kong and I have Dim Sum breakfast tomorrow. Better be heading off. Take care. And gawd, I miss you. Seriously. You know how many damn times I wanted to text you everytime I think of you. Yes, even now. Sigh.

-jOhN "I <3>

Just deleted a post. Who am I tryin to please here. After writing it, I just thought, it was just pointless to rant my worthless feelings. I have none to prove anything to. I'm just so, Lost.

That Hug meant alot. It wasn't just any Hug. It gave me security for that moment. And for that moment, just for that moment, I felt it all left me. But I'd guess, it'll stay just as 'that' moment.

Aren't I just so easy to read. Transparent, to You.

-jOhN "awake amidst the dawn" LiM-

Its starting all over again

The emotions

The rollercoaster

The feelings of mixed thoughts and desires

The want but the inability of attaining

I hate this part

I really do

Why am I always on the losing side

You made me thinking. Again.

Would you give me the chance to know you better, M

:(

All i ever want to do is to please you and see you happy.

I want my innocence back.. I don't want the gift of the knowledge of good and evil, I just want to naively love you with all pureness of heart. I just want to be lost in your embrace. I just want to smile all day thinking of you and me.

;)

Dear Pastor,

I'll never forget this night,

The way we'd met,

Its interesting how God meant for us to speak,

I'll be waiting like how you said,

For his purpose in my life to be complete,

Don'd disappoint me like the others did,

I hold true to your word

Till the next time, I'll be waiting, Christian.

"Who do you tell your stories to?"

What do you feel when the curtains are drawn around your neighborhood

What do you feel when the clock strikes 12

What do you feel when mum says its time to turn off the computer and get to bed

What do you feel when I smile at you

What do you feel when you know I'll always be there for you

What do you feel when I text you "Good Night"

What do you feel when I wait for you to greet me first on MSN

What do you feel when I know, that you know, that we know, that us is good

But what do you really know about me?

Will you let me in, to know the You I am to know as I let you into my fragile heart and touch the very core of my soul. I want to let you see the who inside of me.

On another note, I've survived 2 nights here in Karachi, and I have 2 more nights to go. Had a good barbeque last night with the crew and went to Karachi City this afternoon. All I can say is that it was eye opening :) Period :)

Ah, how I miss writting my feelings down, but I just can't anymore. Things aren't as simple as they appear anymore. I don't want to doubt. I don't want to fear.

Will you proudly parade me one day? Will we ever be an entity? Ever?.... Please, don't ever say I'm less than nothing, again.

-jOhN "away" LiM-

Preview of Dubai :)

Ps: Contrite 

Hong Kong!!! Yes, Finally I am updating my blog. I'm at Karachi, Pakistan currently. Its a LONG LONG stay here.. Just got back from a Barbeque with my crew... Anyway, I guess the picture will speak for itself, So i'll just put in some captions for silent pictures :P

Hahaha.. My playlist, some of you might actually recognise the music I'm listening to. SO many versions of Nobody by Wondergirls :P

I was so darn happy when I saw Singapore Airlines in Hong Kong.. haha!!

The men from the trip
Kowloon, On Nathan Road

My Brother, Jefferey, Yes, we do not have any resemblance, don't you agree?

Kowloon :)

More Kowloon

Even More Kowloon, this time its getting hot.. haha
" Ya Ta! "
Wan Tan Mee!!
Handsome person in Hong Kong
2 more handsome people in Hong Kong
Peace to the people of Hong Kong
:D
Rock ON Hong Kong!!!
:D :D
Brrrrrr....
:D :D :D Kor~

:D :D :D :D

FOIYO.. CELEBRITY!
eh! the handsome people again!
This pic speaks for itself.. :) hahaa
Some panda Santuary.. Keep Silent pls... Literally
Those were my two prizes from random throwing that day :)


On top of the Peak on Hong Kong Island

And YES, the infamous, WANG LEEHOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YES MY DEAR BROTHERS AND SISTERS~ JOHN LIM BOON OON HAS MET WANG LEE HOM FACE TO FACE IN HONG KONG!! Of all places in the world, I have to bump into my best friend in Hong Kong. We were so surprised to see each other. We couldn't spend much time together, but it sure was memorable. He sends his regards to all his fans. Hahahahaha.. I might sound like I am joking but I SERIOUSLY did bump into him :) Sexy ain't he? God's gift to Man :)
Macau Tower where I bungee jumped. Yes, will take some time again to upload my bungee jumping pictures :)
The infamous one wall thingi in Macau. Some apparent wall of a church

Got this idea from a batchgirl of mine which did this in Cape Town. Enjoy the different angles ;)
Flying KICK! Fuh!
Athens. Oops, replica. :)
Some long bridge la. Hahaha

And thats sorta it. Lazy to upload more. Hahahhahahhaa!!

Yes, My Hong Kong Trip with my family was the best! Had so much fun. It was nothing like travelling as a crew member. This was really a Holiday, and the best part, it was with the people I love :) Awww. I'm so excited I'll be going to Hong Kong again in 2 weeks. This time, I get to go to Hong Kong a night before my Hong Kong - San Francisco! Weeeee! and I get weekends at Hong Kong both ways, so that means... Ngek ngek... Wakakkakakkakaka!!! Weeeeeeeee....

Currently in Karachi. Still alive as I report. Room is very impressive despite expectations. I guess thats what people say, don't have expectations cause if you do, you're just in for a disappointment and I had such a low expectation for the room that I was pleasently surprised :)

Will still have 3 more days here to lie around my bed, go to the gym, swim in the pool, play XBox with my First Officer, download, watch movies, eat, laugh, read, jump around and dig my nose!

Next post pending, DUBAI - ISTANBUL pictures!!! Yes, I went to the Burj in Dubai, the Palm Jumairah, and Blue Mosque la, Sophia Mosque la, don't know wat Market la and la la la. :) Hahhahaha.. Awaiting pictures from Ping Ping. If you can't wait, you can browse a little from her link GanCheongPing first :)

Alrighty, good night sexy people! I'm looking forward to coming back to Singapore for the weekend because I have plans for this exciting week ;P muahhahahhahah!! weeeeeeeeee

-jOhN "pakistani" LiM-