Woah..... Ages since I've updated my beloved bloggy. Missed ya people. Well, I just update you guys on my recent happenings. Prefect's Installation just ended today. Performed with my band, "5 Prefects and A Drummer".. Lolz.. It was awesome! Just awesome! Love it. Our performance today was way better than our audition. Though some may complain it was a bit loud, its normal for rockers. Got so used to the enclosed noise we had in Adam's Jamming room. A shoutout of thanx to Adam for availing his house and equipment for us! LOLz. I'm already missing the late practices we had and crazy stuff we do and late night mamaking. Prefect's Install this year went very smoothly I suppose. It ends here man. 5 @#$%##$%% years! I've been wearing my tie every #*#$@% day of the year since the second week of school in Form 1. But the Prefect board has sure been apart of my adolescent life. I've truly learned so much from it. It has been the most beneficial club/society I have joined but it has also took up the most sacrifice and time. Cheers to the Prefect Board of SMK Taman SEA! From Gary Ee, Yung Tat, Ai Hsien, Huay Lian and now Ai Khim, the board has sure stepped up every year. I'm really glad I have been part of the EXCO of 2005/2006. Ah, damn, now I wished I had done more. Lolz.
Well, today's performance was weird. A highlight of my singing was when Caryn came up to give a flower and next for a dance. Though she didn't willingly come I'd really feel bad. Her Mom was there for God's sake with lil Xenneth. Caryn and I go a long way. No no, there was never anything between us, or well at least nothing could go on further between us (I'd wished). Had good chat with her on old times while practices for our installation was going on. Got to really know her in Form 2 when she was my faithful Treasurer. Yes, I did fall for her then. But I never had the guts to tell her. Why? Because she had Eric and Donovan by her side. Hahaha. This is the part where you go AWWWW... Hahaha.. We were laughing all about it. Now she knows I did like her before. We were saying also that if should anyone ask me whether am I gay, I am about to blame it on Caryn because she broke my heart. Really, even while talking to her bout it I was telling her how much I could remember those feelings I had for her. Gosh it seems to surreal. Ok, well she didn't break my heart on purpose but well, I was just let down la. But I'm treasuring my friendship I have with this sweet lady. If you ever read this girl, I must tell you, You will always have a special place in me Heart ;) (in a non-erotic/sexual/relationship-wise context). Have I mentioned that she has served as my "Ass" for the past year? Yes, My Faithful Assistant Director of Student Affairs Department. I had the opportunity to see her EVERY morning for the past year. (hmmm good thing or bad thing?). Well, time is gone now. Like they say, everything has its season and the season for Caryn is over (I guess? ).
Hmmmmm... Thinking about the Prefect Board, I guess most of my close friends are Prefects. Isaac, Jinny, Benjoz.... Sarah, Mary,Kean Sheng, Xi Voon... The prefect board is full of highly potential people that can rock the world man! Love ya'll Loads!! Damn... I thought I would never miss the prefect times, but now my feelings beg to differ. Oh well, Life has to go on...
After that Career Carnival in school the other day, I've been so confused of what am I to do in the future. Dad & Mom says would buy me car if I go Form 6 but I'm not going Form 6. They don't really mind me going college too la, but if given a choice of course they would love to save those extra bucks for a trip to the Maldives if not. Arghhhh... And even if I go college, what course should I do? ADP? A-Levels? SAM? CPU?... Sigh~~~
Oh, and last Thurdays I saved at least 3 lives! With what? With my BLOODY BLOOD! Yeap, you bet, I donated a pint of blood which could potentially save 3 people. It ain't a bad experience. It was fun instead. I really wanted to faint after that by getting up immediately. I rested for about 2 minutes before I stood up, earlier than the suggested time of 10 minutes in hopes I would feel dizzy and faint. I had never faint before and probably thought I could see the "light" if I spend a little time dozing off. The whole PBSM gang was with me the whole time to laugh along, Zhi Zhi, Caryn, Kel Vin, and Kar Chun. Hahaha. Great job guys! Weeee.. Can't wait to donate more blood soon. Teacher says guys should donate more often because guys don't have a "Automatic Flush System" like girls do every month ;P. So guys need to replenish clean blood. Hehehe.. Anyways, gotta go prepare for cell now. Hope to hear from ya'll soon! Muax!
Upcoming events :- CF Choir Prac, Leo Installation, Haruka's arrival, Farewell Dinner, TRIALS!
With Love,
-jOhN "mMmm" LiM-
Friday, July 28, 2006
Monday, July 17, 2006
Wazzzuuupsss Peeppsss of the Worlldd!..
LOLz.. woah.. its been some time now.. Hrmzzz.. Anyway update you a little on what has been happening. Well first of all, every Saturday of the month till August is taken up by something. First it was the Youth Exchange Interview and Leo High Tea last week, then Prefects High tea this week, then PBSM Install next week, then Leo Install the following week, then Bible Quiz at CHS the following week, then Japanese girl is at my place the next week, then Japanese girl is leaving the following week then the following week is the hols liou and after that is TRIALS!!! FISH!!.. So now how the HECK am I gonna study! You tell me?!... Arghhh.. Lolz.. But well, Have to live with it. Like what I said in my Scholarship Form that I applied for HELP, "I like pushing myself to the LIMITS"... I've reached ceiling high now. Banging my head each time my time is pulled to the maximum.
Other than that, I've been band practicing for the Prefect's Install with Mr. Mani, Isuck, Benjoz and Adam at his place. We've been rather productive. Not too bad. If you wanna know what songs we presenting, you have to come and see for yourself. Ngek ngek ngek. Hmmm.. PBSM Install is this weekend but I have yet to practice with Abigail on our song. AHH!! *Pulls pubic hair*... Hrmm..
With so many things on schedule again, I have to admit I have TOTALLY neglected my spiritual life. I've reached rock bottom man. You know they say that every part of your life is tied to your spiritual life so if it is not doing well, everything comes down along too. It is so true. I've been feeling rather lost and helpless with the circumstances around me. I'm trying to fight the feelings but its hard. God Help Me!.. Help me trust you again!...
Hmmm.. My post have been rather boring these days.. Will try la hor people..Will try to add some interesting pics and post sometime la.. ONE day~.. lolz..
jOhN
LOLz.. woah.. its been some time now.. Hrmzzz.. Anyway update you a little on what has been happening. Well first of all, every Saturday of the month till August is taken up by something. First it was the Youth Exchange Interview and Leo High Tea last week, then Prefects High tea this week, then PBSM Install next week, then Leo Install the following week, then Bible Quiz at CHS the following week, then Japanese girl is at my place the next week, then Japanese girl is leaving the following week then the following week is the hols liou and after that is TRIALS!!! FISH!!.. So now how the HECK am I gonna study! You tell me?!... Arghhh.. Lolz.. But well, Have to live with it. Like what I said in my Scholarship Form that I applied for HELP, "I like pushing myself to the LIMITS"... I've reached ceiling high now. Banging my head each time my time is pulled to the maximum.
Other than that, I've been band practicing for the Prefect's Install with Mr. Mani, Isuck, Benjoz and Adam at his place. We've been rather productive. Not too bad. If you wanna know what songs we presenting, you have to come and see for yourself. Ngek ngek ngek. Hmmm.. PBSM Install is this weekend but I have yet to practice with Abigail on our song. AHH!! *Pulls pubic hair*... Hrmm..
With so many things on schedule again, I have to admit I have TOTALLY neglected my spiritual life. I've reached rock bottom man. You know they say that every part of your life is tied to your spiritual life so if it is not doing well, everything comes down along too. It is so true. I've been feeling rather lost and helpless with the circumstances around me. I'm trying to fight the feelings but its hard. God Help Me!.. Help me trust you again!...
Hmmm.. My post have been rather boring these days.. Will try la hor people..Will try to add some interesting pics and post sometime la.. ONE day~.. lolz..
jOhN
Tuesday, July 04, 2006
Of Much Confusion and Pain..
Dear readers,
Boy boy, I surely have abandon my blog. Its so hard these days to update. Its like I have something to write but i always feel it ain't worthy of you readers to read. I just don't want to write another post that'll bore or cause disinterest towards my blog but yet I want to share with you people. But heck it, I'm writting anyway.
I've realised most of my post are just sulky, depressing, confused and confusing. Well, maybe its just me growing up but I just can't help myself and my mind from wondering into these depressing thoughts. Things have been tough and hard on me. Apart from the obvious stress from SPM which is 4 months away, spiritually, I'm dying, physically, I'm growing fat, and mentally, I'm going cuckoo. One fine afternoon I decided to go for my CF out of obligation because I am the Form 5 representative. Yes, OBLIGATION. I am guilty of it but it turns out to be that God has a reason for everything. I was really for the Cell CF Meeting. I decided to join the Word cell where Pn. Julie would share. I shan't write down what was shared that afternoon out of pity to my readers, but all in all I was moved and convicted. I went up to Pn. Julie afterwards and just appreciated her for her moving sharing and she offered a prayer. As soon as we got to sit, I started crying a river. I felt such a burden and weight on my back. I had reached the limit.
You know limits. A breach that shouldn't be crossed. A line between fine and NOT fine. After that encounter with Pn. Julie it seemed things have improved. For one whole week things were moving along well. Till the next Friday night. A certain play by the FootStool Productions were putting up a play in my church that evening entitled "Runaway Bride". Once again I was clubbed with guilt and questions to whether should I continue on living in the sin I am in. You see, I was watching Oprah this afternoon and I caught something from this 60 minute talk show.
"Getting out of a old lifestyle or bad habit or addiction is not hard, really, Not at all BUT making the decision to get out of it IS"
Truly, I can testify to this claim. But have I made the decision yet? Nope. I just ain't ready. But to that, strings are attached to this decision. I am also carrying hurts, pain and confusion along with it. But why do we human kind just can't take the easy way out and make life easier?
There goes John with another one of those post. Aren't you fed up with all these confusing and half told stories of this pethetic old faggot? As long as I don't immerse myself in freedom, I will continue writing these kind of post and messages.
ANYWAY
Stuff has been happening. Watched Germany and Argentina with my buddies on Friday night, celebrated Yee En's birthday at his place with a barbeque on Saturday and went to DJ for their Prefects Installation. The next few Saturdays will be packed. I'm fully booked every shitty Saturday of July till early August. When will I ever wake up of this nightmare! Oh, SPM SPM SPM... Sudah Pasti Mati, Sudah Pasti Mampus, Sick Pussy Maggot, Shit! Pregnant Meh?!... Arghhh... Hahahaha... Why are you so bitter John!...
Oh but before I leave,
I must write,
Dear Yee En,
Thanx for everytime You've been around. I know I have touched you in places I shouldn't have, but don't worry I wasn't that small. Hahahaha.. You've been an awesome friend through the years. You have such capability to turn frowns into smiles and sorrow to joy. I see so much potential in you to expand your horizons to reach to people and lead. The world definately needs more people like you to light up this lil planet in the universe. It has been a pleasure to have known you through the course of time. I will and I truly cherrish the friendship we have. Love ya Bro Ernie.
Yours truly,
-jOhN "Sick" LiM-
Boy boy, I surely have abandon my blog. Its so hard these days to update. Its like I have something to write but i always feel it ain't worthy of you readers to read. I just don't want to write another post that'll bore or cause disinterest towards my blog but yet I want to share with you people. But heck it, I'm writting anyway.
I've realised most of my post are just sulky, depressing, confused and confusing. Well, maybe its just me growing up but I just can't help myself and my mind from wondering into these depressing thoughts. Things have been tough and hard on me. Apart from the obvious stress from SPM which is 4 months away, spiritually, I'm dying, physically, I'm growing fat, and mentally, I'm going cuckoo. One fine afternoon I decided to go for my CF out of obligation because I am the Form 5 representative. Yes, OBLIGATION. I am guilty of it but it turns out to be that God has a reason for everything. I was really for the Cell CF Meeting. I decided to join the Word cell where Pn. Julie would share. I shan't write down what was shared that afternoon out of pity to my readers, but all in all I was moved and convicted. I went up to Pn. Julie afterwards and just appreciated her for her moving sharing and she offered a prayer. As soon as we got to sit, I started crying a river. I felt such a burden and weight on my back. I had reached the limit.
You know limits. A breach that shouldn't be crossed. A line between fine and NOT fine. After that encounter with Pn. Julie it seemed things have improved. For one whole week things were moving along well. Till the next Friday night. A certain play by the FootStool Productions were putting up a play in my church that evening entitled "Runaway Bride". Once again I was clubbed with guilt and questions to whether should I continue on living in the sin I am in. You see, I was watching Oprah this afternoon and I caught something from this 60 minute talk show.
"Getting out of a old lifestyle or bad habit or addiction is not hard, really, Not at all BUT making the decision to get out of it IS"
Truly, I can testify to this claim. But have I made the decision yet? Nope. I just ain't ready. But to that, strings are attached to this decision. I am also carrying hurts, pain and confusion along with it. But why do we human kind just can't take the easy way out and make life easier?
There goes John with another one of those post. Aren't you fed up with all these confusing and half told stories of this pethetic old faggot? As long as I don't immerse myself in freedom, I will continue writing these kind of post and messages.
ANYWAY
Stuff has been happening. Watched Germany and Argentina with my buddies on Friday night, celebrated Yee En's birthday at his place with a barbeque on Saturday and went to DJ for their Prefects Installation. The next few Saturdays will be packed. I'm fully booked every shitty Saturday of July till early August. When will I ever wake up of this nightmare! Oh, SPM SPM SPM... Sudah Pasti Mati, Sudah Pasti Mampus, Sick Pussy Maggot, Shit! Pregnant Meh?!... Arghhh... Hahahaha... Why are you so bitter John!...
Oh but before I leave,
I must write,
Dear Yee En,
Thanx for everytime You've been around. I know I have touched you in places I shouldn't have, but don't worry I wasn't that small. Hahahaha.. You've been an awesome friend through the years. You have such capability to turn frowns into smiles and sorrow to joy. I see so much potential in you to expand your horizons to reach to people and lead. The world definately needs more people like you to light up this lil planet in the universe. It has been a pleasure to have known you through the course of time. I will and I truly cherrish the friendship we have. Love ya Bro Ernie.
Yours truly,
-jOhN "Sick" LiM-
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