My heart is bleeding of loneliness on this auspicious time of the year. GOSH! Not another "celebration" alone! My heart just cannot take it! First, Christmas, New Year's I got to "run away" to KL, and now, Chinese New Year! Its OFFICIAL, I am NOT EVER spending any festive seasons in Singapore. Gonna so totally give away my off days to whosoever that needs to so much more than I do. Its just so tiring to call people out knowing you'll be turned down because obviously they have family here and I don't! I don't blame them of course! But it just gets lonely, thats all, no big deal (yeah right, no big deal!). I'm just a sucker for loneliness.

Not another full-of-emo-shit post. Sigh. But what fun would it be if I didn't have the downs and the ups in my whole Singapore-steward escapade. To make things w

orst, I did get to change my India flight away, BUT I didn't get to change my off days again to fly off. So therefore, I am stuck here in Singapore in the midst of 

my pathetic 6 turnarounds and a standby. Not make things worst, I had to top the guy up (In Crew terms = give him some green). Sigh. Already la its not the off I want, summo have to give ka-ching. Oh well, what is don

e and agreed is DONE and AGREED.

On a lighter note, my beloved batchmates held an early birthday celebration for me (how sweet). It was really nice of them to surprise me with the whole "singing" thing and B-E-A-U-tiful gift which only working friends can so totally afford. So Thankful for them. I'll let the speaking pictures talk.

This was the soooo totally failed modeling pic.. hahahahhaha... Ah, looking at the pics at least puts a smile on my face. Well, I'll survive the night! Hahaha!

Ok now, not gonna let it sink in on me. Gonna go downstairs and probably take the advice of the lovely miss-D and rent Titanic and finally watch it for the first time in my life. Hahaha! I hope laziness doesn't kick in instead!.. Toodles.. Next on roster, STANDBY, Saigon, KL, Jakarta... Urgh~

-jOhN "Gong Xi Gong Xi" LiM-

Greetings! I'm finally back from my trip to Moscow and Houston, Texas again. It was amazing 10 days I must say. Flew with a fantastic set of crew. So many different characters. So many different interesting and wonderful characters. I had a blast during these 10 days and didn't even drag the whole journey. Learnt so much from each of them. It was snowing heavily in Moscow. It was to a point that it was -14 degrees! Yes! -14! No joke man. Don't know why we still decided to go out. Mad. Haha! But we had so much fun everytime. When we got to Houston, we had the opportunity to visit the largest church there, LAKEWOOD CHURCH where Lakewood band comes from and where Joel Olsteen is and where Israel Hougton is from :) Their church building could sit a massive 20,000 people! Worship was as close as you can get to Heaven's. Hahaha! What a way to descrieb their worship. It was heavenly! :P There were about 7 of us that attended church that morning including Samantha Ang which I met up in Houston! Yes! Samantha Samantha! :P She didn't change much, except for the fact she drives a cool Honda Accord ;P Thanx for the rides Sam! Really appreciate you bringing us around and to that nature park. So sweet of you :P and thanx for Hand-cuffing me too :P Hahahahahaha!

Went shopping again to the Factory Outlet Mall and Yes, I bought Coach again from mummy :P States is still probably the best place to shop. Cheap Sale going on now, probably to boost the economy? Oh well... Headed back to Moscow on our last leg. Went over to some cathedral in Moscow this time. Normal la all these Orthodox churches. Nothing much to describe about it though it was fascinating to the eyes. Then it was already time to bid goodbye to my crew. I've never met any sets of crew like this one. All the way from the top of the list to the bottom, everyone was simply indescribable. At the end of the flight, we were all giving hugs to each other. Literally! HUGS! Haha.. can you imagine? Usually we just thank each other verbally "thank you for the flight" and thats it, you leave through imigration and bye bye. But this was different. We all hugged each other goodbye. It was a sad one, but I'm really thankful to God for bringing them my way.

Just observing them brought delight to my soul. Though me so much in terms of character. Its people like them that we need on every flight, in this industry and in the world :) I'm counting down till the days I leave for the states myself.

You know, at one point, seing all of you leave one by one to study made me envious. I was actually sad at one point, asking myself, what am I doing with my life? I was sad to see my friends leave to study overseas and there I am stuck here. But it was sooo silly of me saying that. I've been given the opportunity of a lifetime to travel the world for free, earn loads of money at the same time and have fun too! I don't know what got into me, but I guess it was just the boy in me that wanted to have the same things my friends had too. So many of you, to London, to the States, to Australia, to Ireland and even to Korea! But I'm thankful for my own experience! My own undefined untraditional way of life. After all, I'll be going to New York come Fall of 2010! I can't wait for the moment I actually stand on the grounds of my University then. I wait for the day to come :) Till then, I should SOOO learn to be thankful for all the opportunity that has come my way. I was just filled with jealousy at the moment and was so blinded by it. I just couldnt see the HUGE blessing right infront of my eyes. I can't imagine how many envy the lifestyle I am having right now. I'm sorry.

On another note, I'm back in KL. And yes, I just had a really confusing night. Probably I was just tired from all the travelling and tiem zones, but I was just really zoned out inspite of all the action happening. I just couldn't get myself to have the fun I was suppose to have. Emo-ness came back. Seing what I was seing made me, very, disturbed. I really couldn't put a finger to what I was feeling, but it wasn't anything good. Jo Weng could see through me, but I was just persistent to deny. I'm sorry :( But I know I just wasn't in the right frame of mind. I felt like just giving "it" up at that moment. I was just so tired of trying anymore. Dunno la. Confusing night. But I'm glad its almost over as I sit and type here in the wee hours of the morning. I guess I have alot of discovering to do. Really. I just don't know who I am anymore, or what I want or even where am I even heading! I just hope it all ends well and right. I'm just so scared to losing it all one day. Oh well, till then I'm gonna enjoy each day at a time and STOP worrrying about worthless shit.

Gosh, I just realised I will be doing 6 turnarounds in a row if I change my Ahmedabad flight away. After this, Penang turn, Jakarta turn, Manila turn, Saigon turn, KL turn and then Jakarta turn again! Can you imagine?! But that means I will be in Singapore for awhile. Don't know if thats good news. I guess its still better than spending my 20th birthday in India. Or should I? Hmmmmmmm Shit! I'm still confused at this hour!

-jOhN "Melted back" LiM-

No words needed for God's gift to mankind...

;) Woo! Missed his concert the last time here in Singapore when I was in Moscow and now, I'm leaving for Moscow to Houston again later tonight. Sigh. Gone for a good long 10 days. Sigh. Feeling the loneliness LeeHom feels in his hotel room too. Oh well, I'll pull through.

Besides that, I think the pics from Dubai and Auckland are not worth posting, so therefore, I shall leave it as it is until I have really good pictures to share with you guys.

There has to be much more than this. This year has to have a goal. I need to have an objective and an aim to work towards to. I can't and won't let this year pass me by to be left empty and lost. Hmm..

Pray with me my dear. Guide me as I take steps to the unknown and unexplored. I really want to be someone, and really do something, for a cause. I've always knew I'd be so much more than I can and every step and decision I make today is just bringing me closer to my dream. I wish.. I really do wish...

I need to listen to the rhythm of my heart and the pouring rain again....... Let me hear your voice once again..... Please.....

-jOhN " humming to Music-Man's Heartbeat" LiM-

In come the New, Out goes the Old...

I've not been sharing much pictures these days because there aren't any pictures worth sharing. Yes, Dubai was disappointing and Auckland was pretty lonely, but pretty. Gosh. Been rather moody since Auckland. Maybe because I've been away Singapore for too long. Don't know how I'll survive 10 days away when I leave for Moscow-Houston again. But I'll survive. With that, I leave you with a new year's picture ;) These guys have pretty amazing futures ahead of them :) Trust me.

-jOhN "New Year's" LiM-