Of Small Cuts..

Hmmm....

Is it that bad? I really doubt it is lor. But by the reaction, I guess it meant something. I really don't want to say I all hurt, but why? Shouldn't I NOT be affected? I really don't understand. It's such a small thing but it did affect me. Weird. But, you ain't the one I feel. Aiks.

Seriously, talking as a whole, when you were lied to, ish...... dowan la. Dowan to write la. I'm sorry whom-it-may concern. It wasn't my business and I shouldn't even be affected by it at all. It's really silly. Sorry ya. Hope it won't affect our NORMAL friendship :).

Well, tonight was not too bad. Had practice for Easter at Ps. Julie's place. Just a simple song on God's Love for us. Hang around, eating Struddles, Banana Pie, sang a little of Ain't No Mountain and left for Isaac's place for mamak night. Its Muhammad's Birthday tomorrow so apparently the whole Malaysia is on a public holiday. So we got off from Isaac's place only at 11pm. Ate at William's. Terrible, just terrible. I would go back to Murni at any day of the week. After some crap talk we headed off to Ee Jin's place. Watch her jump around a little and left home. Got home at 1am. Come home, and here I am.

Tonight a bit emo. Wanna write something bout Determination and Future. Or should I write on Self Pity and Dissapointments? Positive or Negative? The past few months have been difficult for me la. I've been keeping so much to myself. Sometimes I really don't even know myself anymore. It hurts myself deeply when I try over and over again and fail to overcome a certain obstacle. Don't we all appear alright but deep inside, I'm cracking slowly. I really don't know if anyone is there for me anymore. Its hard to say. Probably I'm so caught up with activities and so till I have abandoned time to just stop and enjoy myself again. Is it just human nature to be so confused and naive?

Form 5 have been madness. Somehow although I should be slowing down on activities in church and school, somehow my schedule still has been crazy. From camps to meetings, to IU and more meetings. I dunno, somehow I hate like emphasizing on my schedule but there are just so many things on my back. I'm so sick and tired of being shouldered with burdens. Probably there's a bigger plan to all these. Coming up in the month of April, this week's Easter Song. Next week, driving and backing up with Jaclyn Victor, Juwita and Liang. And Sunday at 1 Utama for Liang's performance for Hitz.Fm. Small stuff la. Just backing up for them. Its the experience that counts. Do you see me sipping in the Local Music Industry? I wouldn't mind just hanging around there for a few years then get serious with a proper career. But singing is fun.

Ah.. I'm just looking for someone to love me for who I am, what I am, how my fart smells, how terrible my comments are, how fat I am and not for my voice, my status, my positions or my contacts. Please, someone, UNDERSTAND ME! *crys*

Swaying to the beat,
-jOhN LiM-