Sunday, October 01, 2006


Random Pic we shot from my car with our new k800i.. wakakaka Posted by Picasa

Benjo will hate this pic.. lol Posted by Picasa

Me Grace Charisse n Vinz Posted by Picasa

Saturday, September 16, 2006

Of Earthly Bonds..

Greetings to all readers,

First, I have to pour cold water over your kettle because Paul Moss has NOT replied. It is disappointing. But well, his reply ain't everything. To update you guys a lil on what has been going on, allow me to begin with my exams. Exams started last last Monday and is coming to an end this Monday. To my joy it has been extremely quick that it has ended in a blink of an eye, however it has been a disaster that I had screwed up my Chemistry paper. Chemistry has been a disappointment. Last year I was doing extremely well for Chemistry. I have been getting above 80 last year but this year, I GOT A F***IN C for my Chemistry! Yes, it was the few C's in my life I have every gotten other than DUMBASS ART~. ANYHOW, I screwed up my Chemistry AGAIN, and ironicly, of all sciences, I ENJOY Chemistry the BEST. I least enjoy Physics, but I score the best at it. WTH~. Dunno la. But seriously, I am NOT here to condamn anyone. If you feel insulted that I am frustrated I got a C, please, don't. Its just everyone has different standards and I know I can do better for my chemistry and I have a certain standard I have to live up to especially not to disppoint MYSELF and maybe Pn. Liew (my tuition teacher).
But enough of complaining, other than that, exam has been so much of a relief compared to the Mid Term.

OK, enough of EXAMS, cut the crap and I'm going to the cheesy details on John's Life now.


WARNING! EMO Post ahead!
Went for the movies tonight with Dear Benjoz and Ernie. Picked them up and left for 1U to catch You, Me and Dupree. I have to say it is an especially entertaining movie. I shall not spoil the movie for you here, but I'm just highlighting the gist of the movie. Unlike any other movies that promote sex, violence, horror and romance, this one was particularly special. What stood out to me most was Friendship.
Yeap, You bet it, Friendship. How many out there can say now that "You have a Real Best Friend". The way Carl and Dupree placed friendship in their life was such an envy to me. I really don't know why. I think I have been through this before previously on other posts. But such a loneliness shadowed my heart as we journied back.I just felt all alone in this big world.
I'm going to be very honest right now. I warn you, some of my remarks might be selfish, rude, childish, senseless, brave, ironic and silly but I am who I am.
I don't know about you, but I don't think I ever had someone that liked me as much as I liked that person. Note: All "like" words used from now on is not related to romantic likes but friendship "likes" ok? I dunno. Its like everything I note someone that probably things might go well with the both of us, somehow it always seem I'd be the one pushing for the friendship. It always feels like I am clapping my own hands and the other person is just not getting the hint that I'm interested to go forth with our friendship. Friendship requires trust, faith and honesty. It is selfish of me to say that sometimes I just want a return of the care and concern I pour out for the person but am I wrong? Am I wrong to say that everytime I share a secret of mine I quietly want you to share yours along with me? Am I wrong to say that everytime I cycle to your house, quietly, I would love you to surprise me as well? Am I wrong to say that everytime I "manja" with you, I secretly want you to "manja" back with me? I don't know if you're getting me here but, I just want something back in return. I just want acceptance, love, care and concern not in an extravagent way, but just in a still small ways, I see through it. I really do. I see through the small deeds, short messages, sincere smiles, corky teasing, light taps,wink of an eye. I see all these actions. Call me Homo or sensitive, I LIKE THE WAY I AM. I read people's actions and the slightest gestures and expressions will be analysed and evaluated by my neurons. I just can't help it. From the dinasaur days that I can remember, I have been evaluating the people around me. Weird? Well, I like it.
Ever wonder if anyone thinks about you? For my side, I think alot about people. I think alot about the people around me and especially the friends I like. I just wonder how they are doing or what they are doing sometimes. But somehow, I always feel, or know that maybe just no one does the same for me. I don't know why. Its dumb la, its like I "want" people to think about me like that, but when you just like someone, you will just naturally think about the person and I do think about the people I like. But somehow I just feel no one like me like I how I like them. Strong remark here but its true. Thats how I feel SOMETIMES.
I have been rather transparent tonight. I just like people to know the real me. No fakes, no lies. Just Me, John Lim Boon Oon. So now, whad'ya feel? I just feel like getting feedback. Are you like me? Or do you despise this post? Tag them on the Tag Board ;)
It has rather been an Emo night but well, we all go through our ups and downs right? ;) Its just my night. Leave ya with the lyrics of a song that I can relate to right now. 2 cents for those that can identify the song ;)
I'm looking for a place
I'm searching for a face
Is anybody here I know?'
Cause nothing's going right
And everything’s a mess
And no one likes to be alone
Isn't anyone tryin’ to find me?
Won't somebody come take me home?
It's a damn cold night
Trying to figure out this life
Won't you take me by the hand
Take me somewhere new
I don't know who you are
But I...
I'm with youI'm with you
So anyone wants to be John's BestFriend now? :P
Signing off,
-jOhN "thinking" LiM-

Friday, September 01, 2006

Of One In A Million and My mail to Paul Moss..

Hey avid readers!

Considering how close my trials are, I was still watching One In A Million on Friday night. I had to take time off since tonight there was no cell so I had to see how was its progress and the standard of Malaysia. I was pleasently surprise by the determination I see. Though the quality ain't up to expectation but you have to admit, Malaysia is nuts to Americaphant. Anyway, I have to say Suki is an excellent singer. Really. Do take notice of her ;) Mark my words. I have ears (oh, so do You :P). Anyway, I was rather, how do I put it, errrr offended by Paul's remarks tonight. He was rather strong and frustrated by his remarks to the contestants. Almost all of them got slammed hard on the face. Really, he just threw rotten pizza at each contestant one after another and it got worst with smelly cheese on it. Well, anyway, it was entertaining seing Syafinaz fight with Paul. Really, I don't know what is his problem. He was ok last year with Malaysian Idol. But he got worst this year with OIAM. Probably he can't spend his precious Friday's at Zouk or so. But he was rude. And thats why i came up with a brilliant idea of writting Mr Paul a mail ;) Berikutnya adalah isi isi yang saya kupas daripadanya. Happy reading :-

Dear Paul Moss,

First of all I must thank you for making time to read this mail. My name is John Lim and I am a 17 year old guy from PJ. To cut the crap, I had tune in to 8TV just last night to see how One In A Million(OIAM) was progressing. It was interesting to see how the contestants have grown through each week. I have to admit I am not an avid view of OIAM every week because of circumstances however I have to say the contestants have certainly show determination and effort in their singing and performances each progressing week.

However, my main point of this mail is to politely highlight what I see as what is coming through in my screen regarding YOUR comments. It is rather transparent to see that you have shown much frustration in their performances. However I feel that it is taking a toll on the contestants. Yes, they ARE suppose to take the pressure and it is not an excuse and so on so forth because the industry is as such but your critiques have somehow come across as a Projection of Your frustration and anger. That is however, MY opinion of your comments. Probably it maybe be caused by stress, or personal reasons but if for any reason what I say is correct to a certain degree, I really do hope for your criticism to be more of Positive and Constructive criticism. Really, they do need encouragement and support too and especially from someone as such as You with some air-time included.

I honestly do not want to come across as correcting you or what-so-ever in any way because I am in no position but somehow I felt compelled to write this mail to you to address this issue. I respect you as a person and do agree with most of your comments however it need not come across as anger or such but encouragement and guidance from someone as experienced as you.
I do hope I have not offended you in anyway but at least caused you to ponder for a moment on my comments. I really do just want to help :) Please to address you, sir ;)

Yours Truly,
John Lim

(this mail is TOO modest :P)


That was my mail to him ;). I WILL POST the reply, IF he ever reads it~ I bet he gets at least 50 hate mails a week~ Hahahaha... Oh, and all the best for trials SPMers!!!...

A little update, Trials from 4th to 18th ;) Wish me all the best? HAHAHHA.. Muaxy people! Now back to the books!!

Emmanuel,
-jOhN "studying" LiM-

Tuesday, August 22, 2006


Hahaha.. Notice the eyes :P Posted by Picasa

Last Hug before she cried.. Posted by Picasa

Gawd he's so adorable.. Posted by Picasa

Yeah Yeah... Oh Yeah yeah :P Posted by Picasa

Johnny & Yumi!! Peace! Posted by Picasa

Johnny & Yui! Hentai Hentai! Posted by Picasa

Kimihito, Kasumi, Yumi and Haruka! :P Posted by Picasa

Awww, Kasumi! Posted by Picasa

Of Japan and its Wonders!

Woah, about a month now since Johnny has dropped by. Here goes..

Well the past week or so has been filed with soooooo many sweet memories of the most wonderful people from one of the most wonderful country! ;P Mind me, I'm totally, madly in Love with Japan!!!! Ahhh.. Anyway, so, Haruka arrived in Malaysia on the 2nd but only came over to my place on the 11th. The first place I brought her was a... erm... not-so-normal place to bring a foreigner plus when I barely knew her since she just stepped in my house. But anyway, guess what, I brought her to a funeral! Wahahaha.. I shouldn't be so happy about it la, but the Lions did mention we could bring them to our festivals and so I did. Err I didn't really know the guy that passed away, some 16 year old boy that died of brain cancer. Sad yes I know but this post isn't about him. Anyway, Haruka was extremely quiet but she was alright. Just getting use to my company.

The next day we got up for a Indian breakfast. The waiter at Kayu himself was intrigued by this Japanese girl. Anyway, after having ate good Roti Telur, I bumped into Jessica Lim, you know, the one that left for America? Did You know; somewhere in Primary our teachers mistaken our names John Lim Xi Ca and Jessica Lim Boon Oon :P Anyway, back to Haruka. Mum brought her to Curve in the afternoon while I studied. Got home and had a good night just talking about Japan. She gave us some gifts from the Lions Club from Japan and a map of Japan. So now I know where the bombs landed ;). Sunday was church day and hope she enjoyed it :P. Next, AT LAST I GOT TO GO AQUARIA! Met up with Kay Tze and Huan Nian and their Youth Exchangees (YE), Kasumi and Kimihito respectively. Had a good time looking at MERMAIDS! Yes, they do have mermaids. It was so funny. The highlight of the place was mermaids. I was passing a remark to Kay Tze, "People suppose to come here see fish, now everyone looking at human only". EVERYONE was snapping pictures with the mermaids, leaving the sharks to devour each other. Anyway, we were all so worn out by the end of the day. Had a good time getting the know Kasumi and Kimihito there :P

Well, I'm sure you're getting bored listening to every single detail here. I'll just highlight the highlights. Well for those that didn't have the opportunity to get to know Haruka, she is one pleasent girl. Really. SHE LOOKS LIKE GAN JO LIN! TWINS. She loves to laugh at me. She loves to tease me. She loves to bully me. She hates my driving. She likes Benjo. She likes Shoji. She can draw well. She likes man's perfume. She gave me RM70 for a bottle of man's perfume. She can't ice skate. She has big ****s. She brought RM700+ and a few thousand Yen to Malaysia. Her bag is FREAKING light. She plays Digimon well. She won Jo Lin in racing. She laughs really loud. She can be shy but deep inside she's a monster. Her headbutts are o.0" . She hates Malaysian rice. She doesn't like drinking water. She is the only child. The family picture that she sent was actually taken when she was 10 -.-". She is one mysterious girl. She brushes her teeth after every meal, yes, even breakfast. She walks slow and eat slow, GOSH, I can't stand that.

Hahaha.. well, I bet you know Haruka so much more now right? She is one nice girl. Will miss her la. Though I didn't shed a tear at the airport. Haruka was the first to cry and she cried damn loud and drama man. Hahahaha.. It just proved how nice a host i was ;P I was nice ok?! I skipped 4 days of school in a week for her!.. Hahaha.. Ok now, let your eyes rest. Oh, By the Way, I'M GOING JAPAN IN DECEMBER!!! ITS CONFIRMED!!! YES!!!!! WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!! AHHHHH DAISUKI JAPAN!!!!!!! SUGOII!!!!! MECHA SUGOII!!!!! I can't wait!!!.. Claim your Christmas presents :P Will spend my Christmas and New Years there. Leaving December 15 comin back Jan 6 ;) If you're gonna ask I have to confirm my participation before they allocate me to a host family. Till then, my hopes are Nagoya, Tokyo or Hokkaido!!! WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEee.... Cious people!! Oyasumi!! ;)

Sayonara,
-jOhN "hEnTai" LiM-

*you may be wondering why hentai is there, apparently Haruka gave me that nickname and all the Japanese YE's know me as Hentai. :P

Friday, July 28, 2006

Of My years and time in the Prefect Board

Woah..... Ages since I've updated my beloved bloggy. Missed ya people. Well, I just update you guys on my recent happenings. Prefect's Installation just ended today. Performed with my band, "5 Prefects and A Drummer".. Lolz.. It was awesome! Just awesome! Love it. Our performance today was way better than our audition. Though some may complain it was a bit loud, its normal for rockers. Got so used to the enclosed noise we had in Adam's Jamming room. A shoutout of thanx to Adam for availing his house and equipment for us! LOLz. I'm already missing the late practices we had and crazy stuff we do and late night mamaking. Prefect's Install this year went very smoothly I suppose. It ends here man. 5 @#$%##$%% years! I've been wearing my tie every #*#$@% day of the year since the second week of school in Form 1. But the Prefect board has sure been apart of my adolescent life. I've truly learned so much from it. It has been the most beneficial club/society I have joined but it has also took up the most sacrifice and time. Cheers to the Prefect Board of SMK Taman SEA! From Gary Ee, Yung Tat, Ai Hsien, Huay Lian and now Ai Khim, the board has sure stepped up every year. I'm really glad I have been part of the EXCO of 2005/2006. Ah, damn, now I wished I had done more. Lolz.

Well, today's performance was weird. A highlight of my singing was when Caryn came up to give a flower and next for a dance. Though she didn't willingly come I'd really feel bad. Her Mom was there for God's sake with lil Xenneth. Caryn and I go a long way. No no, there was never anything between us, or well at least nothing could go on further between us (I'd wished). Had good chat with her on old times while practices for our installation was going on. Got to really know her in Form 2 when she was my faithful Treasurer. Yes, I did fall for her then. But I never had the guts to tell her. Why? Because she had Eric and Donovan by her side. Hahaha. This is the part where you go AWWWW... Hahaha.. We were laughing all about it. Now she knows I did like her before. We were saying also that if should anyone ask me whether am I gay, I am about to blame it on Caryn because she broke my heart. Really, even while talking to her bout it I was telling her how much I could remember those feelings I had for her. Gosh it seems to surreal. Ok, well she didn't break my heart on purpose but well, I was just let down la. But I'm treasuring my friendship I have with this sweet lady. If you ever read this girl, I must tell you, You will always have a special place in me Heart ;) (in a non-erotic/sexual/relationship-wise context). Have I mentioned that she has served as my "Ass" for the past year? Yes, My Faithful Assistant Director of Student Affairs Department. I had the opportunity to see her EVERY morning for the past year. (hmmm good thing or bad thing?). Well, time is gone now. Like they say, everything has its season and the season for Caryn is over (I guess? ).

Hmmmmm... Thinking about the Prefect Board, I guess most of my close friends are Prefects. Isaac, Jinny, Benjoz.... Sarah, Mary,Kean Sheng, Xi Voon... The prefect board is full of highly potential people that can rock the world man! Love ya'll Loads!! Damn... I thought I would never miss the prefect times, but now my feelings beg to differ. Oh well, Life has to go on...

After that Career Carnival in school the other day, I've been so confused of what am I to do in the future. Dad & Mom says would buy me car if I go Form 6 but I'm not going Form 6. They don't really mind me going college too la, but if given a choice of course they would love to save those extra bucks for a trip to the Maldives if not. Arghhhh... And even if I go college, what course should I do? ADP? A-Levels? SAM? CPU?... Sigh~~~

Oh, and last Thurdays I saved at least 3 lives! With what? With my BLOODY BLOOD! Yeap, you bet, I donated a pint of blood which could potentially save 3 people. It ain't a bad experience. It was fun instead. I really wanted to faint after that by getting up immediately. I rested for about 2 minutes before I stood up, earlier than the suggested time of 10 minutes in hopes I would feel dizzy and faint. I had never faint before and probably thought I could see the "light" if I spend a little time dozing off. The whole PBSM gang was with me the whole time to laugh along, Zhi Zhi, Caryn, Kel Vin, and Kar Chun. Hahaha. Great job guys! Weeee.. Can't wait to donate more blood soon. Teacher says guys should donate more often because guys don't have a "Automatic Flush System" like girls do every month ;P. So guys need to replenish clean blood. Hehehe.. Anyways, gotta go prepare for cell now. Hope to hear from ya'll soon! Muax!

Upcoming events :- CF Choir Prac, Leo Installation, Haruka's arrival, Farewell Dinner, TRIALS!

With Love,
-jOhN "mMmm" LiM-

Isuck, Head Ai "need more lips" Khim, Milo Smile Moggie Posted by Picasa

Jonathan Hoe afraid I might touch him.. Or will I?.. :P Posted by Picasa

Yumi san ;) Peace Out People from Japan.. Posted by Picasa

Monday, July 17, 2006


Haruka and family :) Posted by Picasa

Oh, the long awaited Haruka.. Posted by Picasa

The EXCO Board with our teacher advisor.. ;) Posted by Picasa

Can you believe it?! He's our discipline teacher! Posted by Picasa

Group Hugg.. HAHAH.. FYI, all are prefects..lolz Posted by Picasa
Wazzzuuupsss Peeppsss of the Worlldd!..

LOLz.. woah.. its been some time now.. Hrmzzz.. Anyway update you a little on what has been happening. Well first of all, every Saturday of the month till August is taken up by something. First it was the Youth Exchange Interview and Leo High Tea last week, then Prefects High tea this week, then PBSM Install next week, then Leo Install the following week, then Bible Quiz at CHS the following week, then Japanese girl is at my place the next week, then Japanese girl is leaving the following week then the following week is the hols liou and after that is TRIALS!!! FISH!!.. So now how the HECK am I gonna study! You tell me?!... Arghhh.. Lolz.. But well, Have to live with it. Like what I said in my Scholarship Form that I applied for HELP, "I like pushing myself to the LIMITS"... I've reached ceiling high now. Banging my head each time my time is pulled to the maximum.

Other than that, I've been band practicing for the Prefect's Install with Mr. Mani, Isuck, Benjoz and Adam at his place. We've been rather productive. Not too bad. If you wanna know what songs we presenting, you have to come and see for yourself. Ngek ngek ngek. Hmmm.. PBSM Install is this weekend but I have yet to practice with Abigail on our song. AHH!! *Pulls pubic hair*... Hrmm..

With so many things on schedule again, I have to admit I have TOTALLY neglected my spiritual life. I've reached rock bottom man. You know they say that every part of your life is tied to your spiritual life so if it is not doing well, everything comes down along too. It is so true. I've been feeling rather lost and helpless with the circumstances around me. I'm trying to fight the feelings but its hard. God Help Me!.. Help me trust you again!...

Hmmm.. My post have been rather boring these days.. Will try la hor people..Will try to add some interesting pics and post sometime la.. ONE day~.. lolz..

jOhN

Tuesday, July 04, 2006


Don't dry for me Jinny Boy.. Posted by Picasa

Sexy Likky.. :P Posted by Picasa

Baby Ernie and I Posted by Picasa

Of Much Confusion and Pain..

Dear readers,

Boy boy, I surely have abandon my blog. Its so hard these days to update. Its like I have something to write but i always feel it ain't worthy of you readers to read. I just don't want to write another post that'll bore or cause disinterest towards my blog but yet I want to share with you people. But heck it, I'm writting anyway.

I've realised most of my post are just sulky, depressing, confused and confusing. Well, maybe its just me growing up but I just can't help myself and my mind from wondering into these depressing thoughts. Things have been tough and hard on me. Apart from the obvious stress from SPM which is 4 months away, spiritually, I'm dying, physically, I'm growing fat, and mentally, I'm going cuckoo. One fine afternoon I decided to go for my CF out of obligation because I am the Form 5 representative. Yes, OBLIGATION. I am guilty of it but it turns out to be that God has a reason for everything. I was really for the Cell CF Meeting. I decided to join the Word cell where Pn. Julie would share. I shan't write down what was shared that afternoon out of pity to my readers, but all in all I was moved and convicted. I went up to Pn. Julie afterwards and just appreciated her for her moving sharing and she offered a prayer. As soon as we got to sit, I started crying a river. I felt such a burden and weight on my back. I had reached the limit.

You know limits. A breach that shouldn't be crossed. A line between fine and NOT fine. After that encounter with Pn. Julie it seemed things have improved. For one whole week things were moving along well. Till the next Friday night. A certain play by the FootStool Productions were putting up a play in my church that evening entitled "Runaway Bride". Once again I was clubbed with guilt and questions to whether should I continue on living in the sin I am in. You see, I was watching Oprah this afternoon and I caught something from this 60 minute talk show.

"Getting out of a old lifestyle or bad habit or addiction is not hard, really, Not at all BUT making the decision to get out of it IS"

Truly, I can testify to this claim. But have I made the decision yet? Nope. I just ain't ready. But to that, strings are attached to this decision. I am also carrying hurts, pain and confusion along with it. But why do we human kind just can't take the easy way out and make life easier?

There goes John with another one of those post. Aren't you fed up with all these confusing and half told stories of this pethetic old faggot? As long as I don't immerse myself in freedom, I will continue writing these kind of post and messages.

ANYWAY

Stuff has been happening. Watched Germany and Argentina with my buddies on Friday night, celebrated Yee En's birthday at his place with a barbeque on Saturday and went to DJ for their Prefects Installation. The next few Saturdays will be packed. I'm fully booked every shitty Saturday of July till early August. When will I ever wake up of this nightmare! Oh, SPM SPM SPM... Sudah Pasti Mati, Sudah Pasti Mampus, Sick Pussy Maggot, Shit! Pregnant Meh?!... Arghhh... Hahahaha... Why are you so bitter John!...

Oh but before I leave,
I must write,
Dear Yee En,
Thanx for everytime You've been around. I know I have touched you in places I shouldn't have, but don't worry I wasn't that small. Hahahaha.. You've been an awesome friend through the years. You have such capability to turn frowns into smiles and sorrow to joy. I see so much potential in you to expand your horizons to reach to people and lead. The world definately needs more people like you to light up this lil planet in the universe. It has been a pleasure to have known you through the course of time. I will and I truly cherrish the friendship we have. Love ya Bro Ernie.

Yours truly,
-jOhN "Sick" LiM-

Saturday, June 17, 2006

Of Hardwork!..

Boo!!

Whoa, its been long since I wrote down here. Here goes.. First week of school after the hols is over. Time really fly when you are busy. Back to routines. Results are all back. Ok, to say I didn't do too well is not fair cause my percentage certainly improved but everyone improved tremendously too. Seriously. Mad class. One thing I am so glad about is like my classmates are so determined to do well with an exception of some, e.g. Sarak. Wahaha!.. Jk Jk. But you can certainly feel the vibes of hardwork and determination even as SPM creeps towards us. I can certainly say the quality of students in Bunga Raya is phenomenal. I really thought the students in Wendy's year were fantastic but now I can say the students in MY year is so much better. Wahahahah!!... Ish, anyway, hahaha.. I'm glad for my class la. You rock!!! :P Will try to post some pics of them here when I can.

Meanwhile, everything is alright with me. Still the same John that is struggling to juggle with his time and commitments. Oh by the way, DID YOU KNOW, Ms. Haruka Yamashita is staying over from the 11th August till19th August!!.. YES, you got it right, an exchange JAPANESE FEMALE student! Wakakakaka.. I'm so excited! I can't wait for my turn! I'm really looking forward to spending my December, Christmas and New Year's there!Its gonna be an experience of a lifetime. Though I will miss prom and probably some year end outing with my friends, I guess Japan and probably a new iPod will cover the grief.

Enough of me, now how about You? ;)

-jOhN "mushi mushi" LiM-

Sunday, June 04, 2006

Measure of a Man..

Ok, for you perverts out there, nope its not the measure of your manlihood. But what is the measure of a man? What is the measure when one turns into a Man. Times have changed and I have been really feeling certain pressures in my life. Yes, what so special? Everyone too has been feeling the same. But let's just put it this way that I'm not handling it too well. Of all years, it has to happen this year. Questions I have been asking myself, questions I have been asking God, questions I have been asked, questions I want to ask, answers I want to know.

I have been a lie, I have been a fake, I have been putting a mask, a mask of which no one has ever seen through. It hurts me to lie to everyone around me, to smile everyday knowing deep down a frown is rooted in my heart. How has this got to me you ask? SIN. Thats the only answer. Sin that is repeated over and over again. Sin that has been always creeping around the corners. Sin that has not been gotten rid of. Sometimes I ponder, is God really trying to help me at this stage I am. Probably He is gracious enough to allow me to choose my path at this point. He is allowing me to think back on all I have done, on all I have said and really make a choice, whether I am for Him or not. But you know what, I'm Not sure.

How is it possible for one as such as me to really be shaken? Yes, it is possible. I've said, I'm not what I appear to be. But we're barely scratching the surface. Butterflies are free to fly, but how'd I wished I'd be able to free myself and fly away now. Is there just some place far away, away from it all that I can run away from to get away from this mess. I've got myself in this situation where not only I compromised my faith, but all I believe in and my stands, my character is all being waivered. It has to stop. But I'm helpless. I feel as if God has turned His face away. But yet I know He wouldn't but somehow I can't believe it. Its funny I have all the answers and solutions but yet I refuse to act on it.

Do you believe the saying that You are what You are INSIDE? That is, if you are good inside you'll appear good outside and if your all rotten inside, you'll be vulgar outside? I totally disbelief that statement. Really, through the years I have somehow successfully hide the dark in me. And the effects are slowly surfacing, suffering from post-sin.

Hahaha.. Sorry for such a crazy post. One of John's mood swings. Its funny how human kind behave. Well, allow me some time to just soak in this and hopefully I might get out of it. I feel so weak and helpless right now in this. Oh where should I turn to?..... I turn my eyes to the hills and there my help comes from................

-jOhN-

Saturday, May 20, 2006


After it all.. ermz.. actually got another boal the other side wan.. Alot of food la.. Posted by Picasa

Our steamboat Posted by Picasa

Aunty Ee Jin Posted by Picasa

Of Katharine, Exams and Outing!..

Wassup faithful readers!!!

First, forgive me for neglecting my site.. It has certainly been some time since I wrote something. Well, exams for a start has just ended today and I'm so glad on one hand but on the other hand, the results are nothing to be rejoiced for.

Let me start first with my discussion on Katharine McPhee. Simply gorgeous, sexy, stunning, superb, and fantastic. She has been so consistant with her performances and she just has a wonderful voice. I have to admit I really expected Chris and Katharine to battle it out at the finals. It was really unexpected. But well, Taylor.. I really can't say much. Its either you Really Love him and just fully impressed by his performances or you just can't stand him and one for me, I CAN'T stand him. But he has a higher possibility of winning this. We will just wait and see during the finals. Katharine will not and cannot screw this up. Gonna get my God-Bro at US to vote for me.. Hahaha.. I was just sucked into space when she sang Somewhere Over the Rainbow last Wednesday. It was perfect. Never ever heard someone sang that perfectly with full of feeling and expression. Love her totally. Another thing I was really moved by was the number of supporters that turned up for Taylor and Elliot during their visit back at their homes. Crazy! The thousands just "worshiping" them. Just magnificent. I also want like dat!!.. Hahaha.. Can't wait for American Idol on Wednesday!

Alright, now back to the serious stuff. Exams. Gosh, this has been the worst ever in my life. Things just weren't going well all through out my exams. Really, I couldn't sleep the first and second week. My nose gave me problems on the third week. But those were just excuses. The real reason I guess why I totally really seriously WON'T do well this term is the LACK OF PREPARATION and PROCRASTINATION! Really, I just feel like I'm having a emotional, physical and spiritual meltdown. Somehow its all intertwined. Having emotional and physical meltdowns will somehow cause the lack of communication and devotion to God, thus affecting myself spiritually. Really, sometimes I just feel so down, lost, sad, disappointed, like a failure, losing hope, giving up my dreams and the list goes on. I can choose to dwell on these feelings or not. But somehow its so easy to fall into these feelings. Really, for this week, I got back my Physics and Sejarah results. Ok, everyone has their own standards and goals and for me, I should get an A1 for my physics but I screwed up my Paper 1 and ended up coming out with an A2. For History? Gosh~~~ Everyone in my class is gonna get an A1 or A2 but my hopes for a B3 might not evern be there. I really should retain and get back my B3 at least. Crazy people. My add math? ARGH!!!!!!! I've always scored A1 for my Add math for the past year.. But this term?... A B3 seems impossible. Probably some of you right now might be shaking your head in disbelief how ungrateful and pethetic I am, but everyone has their standards and goals and these were my goals, CRUSHED. Really, I am planning to apply for a scholarship with HELP with the results this term but considering my marks.... "dot dot dot".... I really wanna rely on God, but I really don't know how to!?! Help me!?!! Need stress management classes!!!

Alrighty, as I was saying, today was the last day of my exams. My parents had left this morning at 5 am to Vietnam for a Mission's Trip. So I have the privilege to drive to school to school everyday and to tuition for the whole week. So I drove to school in the morning and we left after school for lunch with a few friends. After I got back I decided to go out to 1Utama with Ee Jin, Chupsy, Xue Rou, Sarny, Jinny, Jo Lin, Eric and Wei Wen. It was a CRAZY 7 HOURS!.. We did not watch any movies although we planned to watch Da Vinci but it was too full. So we just ate dinner some Korean Barbeque place la(correct me if I'm wrong). It was just a crazy whacko role playing crap talking, laughin and foreign stares time. Really enjoyed it dudes ;). After that we hanged around shopped a bit here and there and soon after we left for Ee Jin's place and had another whacko crazy role playing session there amidst the house tour we got. All in all, I really want to write in detailed but I'm too tired la. Need my rest now.

So you take care ya people. Wil write on something a little more thought provocating one of these days. Love ya'll!!

-jOhN "Mun Onn" LiM-

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Of The Da Vinci's Code..

Wassup ya'll!!

Well, as you've all found out, I've bought myself some books to read recently and I had included the Da Vinci's Code in my library. I bought it on Saturday night and guess what, I'm done reading it already! Weee.. I cannot deny it is a good book. Really, the thrills and adventure really sends your pulse beating faster and faster as each page turns. On the other hand I have to warn that this book is not for the faint of faith. Christians with no strong foundation will question their own faith and non-Christians will definately be convinced that Christianity is a fraud. Well, as the world now is heated up with this debate, I really do caution everyone who is interested and curious of what this whole thing is about. Not all facts are factual. Not everything you see or read is believable, so really, if you don't read with this in mind, you'd be shakened.

I was so hooked on the book. Its crazy. The adrenaline rush and mind boggling mysteries. I actually put my studies on hold despite my mid-term exams starting this Thursday(GOSH!). I really can't wait for the movie and how cleverly they would stitch it all together. There are many twist to the stories and Brown has ingeniously infuse historical legends/myths to come out with such genuine questions. You have to read it for yourself to be surprised. But likewise again I warn that you need not believe it all. Really, if it was all true, he wouldn't have catogorize it as Fiction. Though many statements may bring you to some conclusion of profanity, keep in mind that its all just a story after all. But I really am lookin forward to visiting the Museums he had mentioned in France and London. This book has really gotten me in touch with Art History and some philosophy. Its intriguing and just captivates my night with fantasies. I would read it till the wee hours in the morning and wake up the next day to find myself on my sofa reading to the sound of Jazz Channel 111 on Astro.

Well, I still have 2 more books to go, Laughing as they Chased Us - Sarah Jackman and The Known World - Edward P. Jones (as recommended on Oprah). Wakakakaka.. But I forbid myself from reading these literature until my papers are over. Let's just pray now I'll have as much interest to read my Malaysian history book as I have to the Da Vinci. All the best to ya'll too in your exams. Signing off now. Back to study :(

Yours in love,
-jOhN "praying" LiM-