Tennis@Titiwangsa

Chilling@Bangsar
Gonna miss friends while at Perth....

Gonna miss Japanese class while at Perth...

NOT gonna miss Malaysia while at Perth...

:) Thanx Zhi n Ryn again... :) Sweet la both of you..

And, Happy Birthday DAD! :) Nice meal... Nice 9 course meal.. :P

-jOhN "leaving" LiM-

It is just funny how people can really talk about you behind your back and then still stare at you face to face without guilt.

:)

The human form is only but of defect and error. That is how I see it.

Anyway, another statement I would like to make.


How many of us actually do get jealous when we read blogs of friends and find out that they have gone out with your mates and you weren't even called?


I gave up doing that because it is just so ridiculous thinking about it. Jealousy kills :)



Anyway, here is a pic I'm glad to share.

Good night people.

:)

Looking what the past has done does no good.

Hearing what you have said about me is no good either.

Seing what you have been doing about it was worst.

Feeling what I have been feeling about us the past minute was disasterous.

Now. I stand. Alone.

Trust.

Is lost and will not be found in you again. I'm sorry my friend. Somethings are just not meant to be played with. And my feelings are just one of them.

Pain. Eating me from the inside out. I really don't know who are true out there anymore. Everyone is just plain white outside but stained inside, as how I am as well. When will we all be true to each other?

I forgive you. But never will you find the trust I gave you that night. Things have changed, things are changing, and things will change. Goodbye to you, LIES.

-jOhN "pledge" LiM-

Evil.

Curse.

Pain.

Gore.

Blood.

Murder.

Death.

Will the suffering ever end? Will the pain in my head ever stop?
The mind can do wonders with your thoughts. No, I am not having suicidal thoughts, though I have had them several times. This is more than suicide. It is eternal pain, suffering and revenge. I really wonder what goes on in the mind of a killer. It makes me think so much. I really don't know anymore if I despise or actually admire them. The mind. The mind, such a powerful tool. It holds all the power, the power to your thinking, the power of change, the power of bringing joy or depression. Now, how do one take control of the mind, then you say.

Jealousy, revenge, anger, rage all put together into a broth to mix the ultimate demon. A monster. How do one actually come to that stage? Feed the demon and it will grow. Feed the thoughts and it will spring out like a roaring lion ready to devour it's victim.

Does Death hold power you say? Is it the answer to questions? Is it the solution to problems? Is it the end? Give it power, and it will take on a new face. Death. Will you ever bring joy? WIll You?

Now think. Think of how much you mean to this world. Think. Think of the worth you are to the world. Are you just a little puny shit? Or are you an individual, ready to take the world in your hands? Tell me, are you that much of worth to the world?

It is amazing how people can view certain things in weird ways. Some may view my question above as offending, degrading, despising and depressing. Whereas, some may view it as enlighting, eye-opening, and relating. Some may even see it as confusing, useless and meaningless. From this, You can come to conclusion of your own thinking, whether it has won you over, or whether you have control over it.

Lost? Stay lost, or find your way out!

I just love observing people. I just love watching them. Their every move, their words, their actions, their smile, their walk. It tells a story. It tells so much about someone. So much. So unique. So diversed.

I am amazed by the crafts of God. How much longer will you put up with defects like us? Oh, You don't see as defects don't you? Sorry, yes, perfect creations. In your image. Sin. You. Liar. Deceptor. Enemy. Away with your lies now. Away.

Thus is the battlefield of my mind each second. Appreciate your simplicity and gentle innocence. Knowing less is beautiful, knowing more is imperfect.

Know what got me thinking? Hannibal Rising. Bite my cheeks now.

-jOhN "Smiling" LiM-


PS: OMG, John is soooo weird! This post is so disturbing. This post will expire in a few days.

I am stunned.

American Idol is just fantastic. It is entertainment beyond entertainment. Enjoying every bit of it. It might just make it into my list of super druper favourites joining Jazz and the rain. Maybe.

I just have to say, catch every repeat you can on the "Idol Gives Back" show. Spectacular. I could have donated if I could. Hahaha.. I was that convinced. Glad nobody went out too :P

Anyway, last paper later on in the afternoon. Then off to Singapore on Monday and from there I leave for Perth on Tuesday. Its gonna be a good break away. Though I know I will be missing out on my friends. But hey, we all need a break away once in awhile.

I feel it coming again. Winds of change are blowing once again. I'm keeping caution. Beware, it ain't gonna be nice this time around. It seeps through your skin. Just random pics. That one above was done whne I was in Form 2, I think.

-jOhN LiM-

Exams have started.. Did calculus this morning.. Was very pleased with it.. Thank God.. Hopefull can score 4.00 for this la..

Business and Computer on Thursday and Friday respectively.

Japanese class has been fun. Its so cute to see the teacher speak and we repeat after her. Just reminds me so much of the time when I was in Japan. Their culture and just the way they express themselves. Extremely adorable. Haha.. Managad to catch a picture of her. Hope she doesn't com by this blog. Hahaha.. :P Her name is Tani-san. And guess what, she is only 26!!!! Freaking young man.. Love japanese class! Woohoo!!..

Cant wait for Perth. Gonna catch up on some books while I'm in Perth and drop by some Jazz bars. I'm so looking for a good Jazz place in Malaysia. Recommendations anyone? :)

Random pic of random ppl at my random workplace on a random Sunday afternoon

Hahaha... :P

-jOhN "studying?" LiM-

Wooohooo!!!

I'm back from my first Japanese class (AT LAST~~~!!)

I'm done with my first exam, LAN~ (woohoo~!)

I'm freaking stressed up over my last english composition paper tomorrow (AHHH!!!)

And I'm excited I will be going to Perth for my 2 weeks break! (the whole of it!! WOoohOooOoO! Not to mention, will be stayin over night at Singapore too for 2 days...!..)

And best of all, I'LL BE TRAVELLING ALONE.. WooOoOHOOooOoOOOoooo!!

Damn, I'm darn distracted man from my exam... Sigh... Must do well d!... Gambate!!!!


And I just had to post this pic of Xin Yi... Don't you just freaking miss him?.. Haha..

Love ya'll peepss..!!!!...

OH WAIT WAIT, BEFORE I LEAVE, THE CLIMAX OF EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!

SANJAYA IS F***ING OUT OF THE COMPETITION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SANJAYA, GO EAT SHIT LA YOU!!!!!!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOO... HAHHAHAHAHHAAHHAHA

Ok ok, a bit rude... errr.. Sanjaya, got diggest poo la you!! WOoohooOooOoOoOooO...

(Hmm.. why am I so high when it is not raining?.. Hmmm..must be the young Japanese teacher.. muahahaha.. Will try to secretly snap a pic of her kk? :P)

Muax ya'll!!

-jOhN "Hayashi" Lim-

You ARE my friend, and you ALWAYS will be...

Keep them while you can, hold them so tight, that they'll choke

Squeeze all the love you can get from them because you never know when you'll miss them

[Sorry if you don't see your face, but rest assured that You're in my mind.. Really.. Come ask me :P]

-jOhN "thankful" LiM-

It was time for a nice drink and some music...

Got down to Alexis, Ampang for a small gig by Juwita. Rode in Ian's Harrier and was mesmerized for the night. Its just my thing man. I mean, I just love sitting down, chilling in the night, listening to jazz/music and live music. It just brings me to a certain high, a really different kind of high and relaxation. And there are just so few of these places in KL, and yes, in KL. Some people have to go all berserk when they hear you are going to KL. I mean, like, what is the problem? I'm going to KL for some jazz, so?.. Man, what is the deal?.. Anything la~

Went back to Taman Sea tonight to disturb some juniors from the Red Crescent society tonight. They were having their annual camp so we old seniors just wanted to go back and disturb the few. Had a good time seing friends once again and just ranting about the things going on. Miss those hang out/ponteng times in the PBSM room :P Miss you guys :P

This week is the last week of classes for me. The following week is my finals for this semester already. Stressing~ Have to studyy :( Oh, and Japanese Class FINALLY starts this THURSDAY! WOOHOO!!!

And before I end tonight, all I want to say, is that, I thought You were to one, seriously, I thought, but, you've disappoint me. You really don't seem to display the maturity I am seeking. Oh well, none are perfect~

-jOhN "should start studying" LiM-

It has been some time now since Stronger Concert. But tonight I just had a feeling of going to the Stronger Concert Blog and found a really nice song there. The following video is a video of a song I did during one of our practices.

It isn't perfect, really raw recording, but I just wanted to share it with you guys. The words mean something, really... Check it out. Hope you like it. Its ringing in my head one again.. Hope you find hope in this song because through all the trials, you will stand Taller, Stronger, and Better than before :)



Love ya'll..

Ps: I think the rain is like Love. It can be annoying sometimes, it can make you sick, but at the same time it brings peace and pureness, and mostly, I still love it no matter what :) So, rain, please rain again :)

-jOhN "rain" LiM-

There are currently 6, 543, 750, 311 people in world...


But all I need is

The 1 that will cry when I cry

The 1 that will lie beside me by my side

The 1 that will hold me till I die

The 1 that will cherish every moment together

The 1 that I see when I wake up every morning

The 1 that has those beautiful eyes

The 1 that adores Jazz and the rain as much as I do

The 1 that will cycle with me to the top of hill

The 1 that will read this and go, "He's full of bullshit"

The 1 that can love me for who I am

The 1 person that will be my Friend

Appreciate a Friend today :)

Shoutout to all my friends, I absolutely Love you guys!

-jOhN "1" LiM-

2 more weeks to my finals.

2 more days to my business test


2 more days to my english debate


3 more days to my visit to Proton


4 more days to my calculus test


7 more days to my final computer assignment


823640238945 more days till I grow old



But there is no time to waste






I love the Rain! I love JAZZ! They both get me excited!.. Woohoo!


Hitcher wasn't too bad though the ending sucked @#$&%*&#$%@#@$#!!.. Terrible ending.. It could have been better. Oh well, its just a movie.






Can't really think of anything to update now.. But before I leave here tonight





SAY NO TO EMO!
Woohoo!





-jOhN LiM-

There You were, on the cross, for my sins...





For all my wrong doings, for all my short comings, for Me..




Thank You..

Now I'm ready to make nice..

Happy Good Friday

-jOhN "=>" LiM-

Hopeful

Work load is beginning to pile once again. In 2 weeks I will be having my finals for the semester. It is that soon. Have to begin picking up books again.

On Monday night, after turning and tossing in bed at 9pm trying to sleep, I finally picked up my phone to message my youth pastor, Pastor Julie, to just speak to her. After awhile, she agreed for me to go over to her place in Subang. Drove over and spoke to her for a bit about what was troubling me these past few weeks.

It is really just funny that when you ain't doing well with God, nothing else seem to work out right. Really. Everything just seem to crumble when you choose to turn from God. Somehow things will just work their way against you. From your emotions, to your friends, to your daily day-to-day chores. Everything will practically work against you. Yeap, as you have read, some of you might have noticed, I've been practically emo for the past.. err.. weekS?

Was just having a casual chat with Liang Zhi over this "emo" stuff. Its sickening isn't it? I mean, it drains you mentally, bringing you to the bottomless pit, traps you there, makes sure you stay there and then leaves you there. Its just so tiring to keep falling back and forth into these emotions and feelings. The negativity, the critical patterns, the self-beating process, the self-pity, the depressing moments, and the list goes on. It ain't fun at all. Seriously, it has become a growing trend among us youngsters to be emo. Each of us are beginning to take turns to be emo or as such. If one night say, A is alright, B will be emo and soon after, the latter will get better and A will turn emo. Pastor said its probably because we are professing it so much that it somehow affects everyone's thinking as well.

I believe so. And I see no benefit in getting emo, I really do, but trust me, it ain't that easy to get out of it either. I have been struggling myself to constantly stop my mind from thinking such things. A small matter may arise and totally pull me down the next moment. I truly thank God for some of you that see this matter as unfamiliar. Thats a really wonderful thing because you don't get yourself entangled in your own emotions. Its a privilege I would say. For me though, its a constant battl with my own thinking. Thats why Liang Zhi and I thought of coming up with this Anti-Emo thingi. I don't mean that we're never gonna get emo or anything, but its just that, whenever you're down or anything, you know that someone is gonna be there for yea. Its like a support group or so. I don't mean it as so formal or whatsoever but we ain't perfect, and so many times we fall short of our expectations and get disappointed so often that we are discouraged. I would have to be the witness of that.

So many times I fall. So many times I fail myself. So many times I fail my friends. So many times I fail God. So many times, so many times. And its not gonna stop there, I'm still gonna fail all through out my life. But does that mean that I have stop right there? Does it mean I should not try anymore and stay a loser? Many a times, when I'm all emo and cooked up by myself, I just give up trying. But readers, smile, because it doesn't stop there. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger! It is so cliche to hear that, again and again. But it only will mean something to you when you break out of it. Not break out of failure, but break out of the motion that you are a failure.

I'm just so sick of punishing myself when I fail someone or myself. I try and try time and time again. But forgive me art thou for failing once again. I beat myself up everytime I don't live up to a certain expectation that I have on myself. And it kills me time and time again. And worst still, I aim for perfection, and when I don't achieve it (which practically I WON'T), I punish myself by going through the whole motion that "I am useless..." and then stop there. I throw in the white towel totally and walk away, moving on to the other extreme. From striving for perfection to not even trying. My argument was that, if I'm not gonna achieve perfection, then why even try?

Its crazy the way I think so much sometimes too about what others think and feel and will do. So many times, I over think things? Get me there? I assume so much of what others would feel and think and do that I worry so much for absolutely no reason. I fear and worry and waste all my energy to come out with the best explaination or reason that I always mess up and make things worst. Its just crazy. Its time I take things slow, and not over think things. I don't mean going all the way to the other extreme and not caring at all either, but just take things at a time. Often times we just worry when things will get better, but things will just get better with time.

Time. Another essential part of our life. The one thing I've learned about life recently is that time has magic. Time just has a healing magic to its effect. Don't ask me how, but things just somehow work out in time though it only applies so SOME situations.

There are just so many things to change. There are just so many things in my life that I need to throw out. Pride, selfishness, hate, prejudice, misconceptions, fixed thoughts, over-thought, no thought, ignorance, stubbornness and the list goes on. It is gonna be a life long process of learning and over coming each of these. A constant day-to-day process and effort to overcome my weaknesses. There will be days when things just won't work my ways and there goes John again into the bottomless pit, but this time, things should be different, because John wants to find a way out now. We all need friends around us to pull us out when we fall, we all need people for support. And I want to be there for the people that have fallen trap to evil's plan. But let us be there for each other. This journey is not easy, and things will not lighten up anytime soon, but Hope is always beside us.

For this cause, I will continue living.. For this cause, I will fight the ups and downs of life. For Hope lies beyond the horizon. Lead me again on my baby steps of life towards the slow learning process of knowing myself over and over again.

Lord,

Help me understand my short comings, Help me accept them, and Help me overcome them. Time and time again I fail you, time and time again I fail them, time and time again I fail myself. But let not that be the end of the road for me, for I know there is a greater cause for You allowing each and every circumstance in my life to happen. I choose to see the greater cause and good in every circumstance. I understand that there will be ups and downs to this unpredictable life of ours, but I choose not to give up. Help me to move on from my mistakes and pain. Help me, because I am just helpless without You.

Amen.

As I lay my head tonight, I pray that I make amends with whoever or whatever I have come across as offensive and contradictory.

Looking forward to good days and overcoming bad days.

And before I end my long winded post tonight, I just want to say,

No To EMO! Woohoo! :P

Hopeful,
-jOhN "resting" LiM-

...

Dots..

Dot dots..

Dot Dot Dots...

Dots Dots Dots Dots...

March is Over, April has come. Looking to see if it has new life to offer. It better have more to offer.

I'm overwhelmed. Just overwhelmed. By how much I have thought time and time again about You. And things aren't just working out right? Will it ever?... Will it ever?..

Have been down with a flu. Seldom come down sick. But probably with everything happening around, with too much useless thoughts, it has somehow affected health as well. Weather has been perfect with all the rain and all. I love it! Apparently it has been pouring in Japan as well, claims my host family.

I miss the way things were with me. With the innocence and less thinking. With laughter and ignorance... I loved it when I didn't know. But now, do I still know?....

Maybe.. Probably... Could be.. If.. Then.. But.. How.. Please.. No.. Why.. So... Goodbye..

-jOhN ":)" LiM-
ps: love confusing my readers.. hahaha..

John Loves Delaine for letting him use her laptop while disturbing her studying and using her mothers car to cruise the streets of the Klang Valley.. Wooohoo..

Do i get really sticky? Sigh...

The thoughts are coming back...

Damn shitty wei.. The way I thought of You the last time...

Its happening again.. I'm giving myself up too easily...

N the worst thing is that You don't know its happening to me and You might not even care...

But I want you to care..

I Love You.. But will You love me? Will You ever Love me?..

It is never what it seems.. and it never will be what it seems..

Deceit and Lies..

All these are just beyond romance.. Its more than it.. SO much more than it..

Meaningless..

Lonely nights..

Lovely, lonely, rainy nights...

Tats my love :)


OMG~ just deleted my post.. damn boring post.. nway~ Have a good week peeps.. when got interesting news, I report la.. :)

N shhyte~ I'm feeling those feelings again...

Nights peeps..

Friday Nights...

How are they meant to be spent?

Party them away? "Cell" them away? Eat them away?
Or, sit by the couch with your vitagen, Mr. Potato Original and your controllers all by your side ready to watch a movie. It's like my ONCE-IN-A-LIFE-TIME Friday Night Movie ALONE! Weeeee.. Seriously, I can COUNT the "many" times I can actually be ALONE on a Friday night to watch a movie with my favourite natural taste vitagen. Ahhhh... After the hectic week at ADP, I just needed a time-out, and it was THE night.

Got a hold of my Illegal-DVD collection, poped out a few movies, thought to myself a bit, and finally picked "THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS" (since I'm in need of Happiness).
To those that found the movie to be an excellent choice, I beg to differ. Though I absolutely enjoying inspirational/motivational movies, I wasn't quite "inspired" by this one. Seriously, practically the whole time as I was enjoying my Mr. Potato, the movie was slowly dragging me to the pits. It was fishtard depressing! Yes, for the whole 2 hours, practically only the last 10 minutes was fulfilling and inspirational. I was all dragged to the slumps by the time heaven was in sight! The movie made me so fearful of poverty. Seriously, I don't ever want to come down to the position where I have to play cave-man and sleep in the toilet with my lil boy in my lap. WAKE UP CALL MAN. But the dude sure knows how to persevere. I was looking for tears the whole show long, and he only teared twice! Phenomenal!

Oh well, all in all, this post ain't to give bad review on the movie, but just to highlight a few. I'm glad though. Glad that I had a break. Things have been pretty messy these past 2 weeks. Emotionally coaster, spiritual worm, physically broken. Slept at 7.30pm last night all the way to 7am this morning. I didn't know how I did it. Fell dead on my bed after watching a depressing episode of American Idol. I just can't understand how @#$%^&*&%^ America can be by letting Stephanie go. Sigh, but I'm routing for a Melinda, Jordin, Blake n Chris Rich. Watch out for these 4. I'm tellin yea, Either one is gonna be your next AMERICAN IDOL... Weeee.. But the again, these @#$@#&* Americans are @#$$%#% unpredictable. Lakisha is overrated. Oh well, right now, it is my source of "inspiration" and "entertainment". Seriously, I look forward to coming back on Wednesdays and Thursdays from college to watch it. I get extremely excited and happy after it :) I really don't know why. hahaha.. I even skipped LAN class this week to come back to watch the results show!

College has been crazy with work. And worst thing, it can get pretty fishtardy when you have fishing group members. I guess I'll just have to do all the work since I want to get an A for the subject whereas they seem like they just want to pass the subject. Can't you just put some heart into the things you do you @#$@#$@%&^*^&*$@#%@#$@#$#$@$%^&*%^#@#$!@#!#@#$@#$@#$@$^#$^$%&$ group members!!!!!!!! Ahhh.. now thats out, I love ADP :)

:) N a REALLY LATE shoutout to some people,
GANJA, TERA-JIE JIE, MY ENEMY, MY DEAR, MY LOUSY FRIEND, MY EXTREMELYYY LOUSY FRIEND, I love you for accepting the person that i am, You have been extremely insulting and loving, but nothing will ever change the fact that you are a dear friend to me and stay true to yourself and keep on growing girl, if you know what I mean ;) Owe ya a movie ok? Or do you want Ms. Read instead? Hahaha... Muaxy -Happy Belated Birthday Jo-

Caryn, My ASS-istant, the girl who hates staying back for meetings, the girl who somehow thinks she owns LeeHom, But you're wrong girl, He's ALL MINE! Muahahaha.. You have been an extremely naughty girl, you know that? Though you've been extremely naughty, it has been fine. Hope you are taking real good care of John? Xenev taking care of him well? No poo poo on your car? :P I still haven't good a good walk and talk with you and John. ONE of these days yeah? ONE? hahahah.. Be good ok? Don't break anymore hearts? :P -Happy Belated Birthday Ryn- ps: I'll be watchin Xenev as he grows up ;) Hahahaha..

Oh well, another month till my semester ends. Gonna pop by Perth and Melbourne in May. Can't wait for that! Weeeee... Can drop by Steven's house for a night of "extreme" FUN & Adventure, role-play with Benedict and party hard with Ian! Woohoo!! Gonna meet up with Brendon and Claire in Melbourne too, two Aussies I met in Japan. Oh well, all is good for now, Weeeeeee Seasons come, Season go, so stand up and let the wind blow!

-jOhN ":P" LiM-

Ok, enough emo emo psot liou :)

Some friends real getting sick of it.. Lolz..

Sigh... :)

Have a good week you people! And be happy-go-lucky and positive like Vinz.. hahaha... ;P

-jOhN LiM-

"Save Me From Myself"

It's not so easy loving me

It gets so complicated

All the things you've gotta be

Everything's changin

But you're the truth

I'm amazed by all your patience

Everything I put you through

When I'm about to fall

Somehow you're always waitin

with your open arms to catch me

You're gonna save me from myself

from myself, yes

You're gonna save me from myself

Don't ask me why I'm cryin

Cuz when I start to crumble

You know how to keep me smilin

You always save me from myself

from myself, myself

You're gonna save me from myself

I know it's hard, it's hard

But you've broken all my walls

You've been my strength, so strong

And don't ask me why I love you

It's obvious your tenderness

Is what I need to make me

a better person to myselfto myself, myself

You're gonna save me from myself

-Aguilera-

Isn't it just beautiful being emo? Oh well, in times of turmoil there will you see some truth in people and things. I guess life's bitch has her ways to teach us lessons. Life goes on. My blog has been rather depressing. It is really draining and tiring being around emo people like me, so if you're not ready to be pulled into the pit of emo-ness then stay away :) Don't you agree? When you are constantly surrounded by people that are complaisant and depressed it'll definately somehow affect your mood as well? Oh well, sick of hearing me whine?

"Losing My Ground"

I woke up short of breath,

but I've still got a long day ahead of me

I don't know what day it is but tell me 'cuz I gotta know who to be

Is this me up in the mirror?

'Cuz I thought it was somebody else

Well it's a realization,

when you find out you don't even wanna look at yourself

Where do I go?

What do I do?

Who do I turn to?

I'm losing my ground

Who am I now?

Where does it end?

How did it all begin?

I'm losing my ground

-Fergie-

-jOhN LiM-