Everlasting, Never Ending, Always;
Quietly, Silently, Beside the Shores of Reminisence....
Now I breathe to see you,
Now I wake up to the lights of your name,
Now I hear the sounds of your uncanny voice calling out to me,

Who shall be called?
Shall I declare?
It seeps into my soul,
Now I will stand taller, stronger and I will emerge better,
To the challenges of grace and rain.

Sun,
Shine bright,
Shine light,
Shine on my face,
And reflect on my countenance,
Will you ever be able to see through me?

-John Lim, 2007-
(inspired by Vincent)

Look beyond it all, my friends
Look beyond what is at hand
Don't look, but Venture.....

The New Year

Greetings my fellow mates!

It has definately been ages since I have updated. It has been a week since I got back from Japan now and all I can say is that Japan was the Blast! It has certainly changed my perception on so many things from bathing to food and people. I am really thankful that I was given the opportunity to be involved in such a program. Well, to highlight some experiences,

I went horse-back riding, I went to Universal Studios Japan, I went to many shrines and temples and Himeji Castle too, I visited Osaka, Kyoto, Kobe and Muraoka, I lived in Himeji, which was in Hyogo prefecture, I had MANY public baths in spas and hot springs, I made Mojisuki, I went skiing for 3 days, I ate many weird DELICIOUS food, I love Okonomiyaki, I found out that Japanese people always reverse park, roads in Japan is superbly small, Japanese people cycle ALOT especially the elder people,cars are cheap there, Japanese people don't really look too different from Chinese people, Japanese are extremely polite people and so on. I really don't want to bore you with words but instead I will try to upload more pictures from time to time..

I really do want to go back to Japan to meet my host family and some people I have met over there. My host family consist of 7 people. My host parents have 4 daughters and a son. Oh, and one proud thing I have to say was that they owned a hotel so they whole time I was there I lived in their hotel. Their house is connected to the hotel. They were extremely generous and provided me with all my necessities. It was a really funny and weird experience when they first thought me how to "bath" with them in the public bath. All the man in the family, which were the 4 daughters' husbands and their son joined in for the bath and slowly thought me the procedures. Yes, it did feel weird the first time but soon after I got use to it and it was really relaxing. Japanese people only bath once a day and only before they sleep at night. So you soak yourself in the hot spring before you go to bed. They have procedures for bathing so if you ever take the public bath, becareful not to jump right in the pool. Other than that, I had an extremely packed schedule there. They kept me busy everyday. I really really really really do wanna go back to Japan this year itself. To all you people out there, please, if you have to opportunity, just apply for it, it will be the experience of your lifetime!

Well, on another note, I have applied for ADP in Taylors and I have been enjoying myself. Do hope all will go well for me. Really have to start working hard and do well to get into Uni next year. So, till then, farewell people! Take good care of yourself and please do update me on your happenings too. Forgive me if I have not spent enough time with everyone. Call me anytime peeps! Missing everyone!

UPDATE: Forgot to mention, I appeared in Local Japanese Newspaper too with my pic :P Will post that pic soon.. :P muahahaha..

-jOhN "Oyasumi" LiM-

Of Great Endings..

Yes, for every beginning will have an end. Here, I end my last blog entry for the year. It has been one memorable year. A year filled with joys and sorrows, trials and tribulation, victory and success, friendship and love, hurt and disappointment, fun and laughter, but all is now in the hands of God. He has His ways, His plans and His divine path marked out and I know I have learned from the year 2006. Gladly I look back now and smile, Goodbye.

Past few days have been rather hectic. Got back from H.U.G.E in Melaka from loads of fun. Even though I only had spend one night over there, I did bond so much with my roommates. Lame-ass people. Sorry Vinz for the pranks :P Gonna miss ya Steven, Damn, I will have to wait another year to meet ya again. But all is good. Had a great time in the presence of God just ending it right with Him. Enjoyed a long talk with Grace before she leaves for National Service, disturbed Vincent till 3am just talking, found a new Aussie-accent friend Steven, and sang my heart out with Psallo. I'm glad I made the trip down.

Came home yesterday to making "Kueh Kah Peks" with my aunts. They had came down from Alor Setar just to make them. How nice ^.^ Brushed up my "Tai-Ti" skills again where I will gamble out Yen in Japan so I can buy more souveniers. Caught up with a few mates at Murni the night after for a final bye bye before Japan. Won't be seing Benjo and Lik Xiang till March :(. Sads-nya. Sigh. Will miss you boys. To the rest, there is always January.. lolz..

I do mean to write more tonight, but here I am, sitting in my computer room at 4am straining myself the nigth before I leave. I'm so gonna die tomorrow man. Flight is at 11:55pm but will have to be there at 8pm for check-in. Really looking forward to this experience. Weeeee!.. Though I haven't packed my bag, let us pray I won't forget anything tomorrow. I haven't even got a Japanese book to study! Missing each and everyone of you babes! Really.. Everyone!... Muax you all ya!... Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!!!

Happy Birthday My MOST beloved Ci (sister in Hokkien). Love you so much! Thanx for being there whenever I needed you. Though it didn't mean anything to you when I called you when the car couldn't start or when I didn't know what to do with the fine or even when i was so messed up and stressed or even when I felt so down and confused, you stood by me the whole time. I love with no words that can express. You have been a guiding example and the best sister anyone can have. I love you soooo much! Cheers to more late night chats when I'm back ok? :P Muax You!

Sayonara 2006!

-Random pics-




Dong Poh-Poh leaving for Canada liouz..









Sexy Steven leaves for Melbourne the day I come back from Japan :( Take care my Aussielicious Friend..








My LOVELY Sister, Julie!






Love ya'll! Take good care of yourself, and God loves you and so do I...

Sayonara!
-jOhN LiM-

Of Animal Poop..

First I must start, the Malaysian Government surely isn't giving any attention to the Wildlife of our country. Yes, you bet, I made a trip to the Zoo, ZOO NEGARA to be specific. Somehow, my cellies accepted my idea on a Cell Outing to Zoo Negara. We all had one common goal, and that is to stay OUT of the MALLS. We were just so sick of it. You name it, 1 Utama, Sunway Pyramid or Megamall.

Driving to the Zoo wasn't that bad an idea after all. Plus, we didn't get lost! Thanx to Dear Jason. Packed the car with some adreneline running boys and hit the road. I must apologise for being late [AGAIN] to leave. Can't blame me as I rushed back all the way from Taylors that morning. Bumped into Auntie Ee Jin and Ho ho boy at Taylors. Anyways, reached safely from no danger thanks to Doctor Yi-Ki's prayers [remember her Chucs?].

"Ya, dia 12 tahun"... That got Sue Vern a child's ticket. Gosh. No comments. But anyway, we got in and shot pictures, starred at empty cages, smelled bad poo, observed a freak-ass-of-nature and laughed our heads off as we video cammed our way for our Christmas Video. Will post video up when ready. I have crazy cell members la. Crazy, pure crazy mad, horny, perverted, distorted, screwed, goners but, I still Love ya'll. You cute people, you know that?.. Lolz.

Well, in brief;
Cheers to more movies and speed "Angel" racing with Uncle Vinz
Cheers to more makan session with Andrew
Cheers to more bodoh time and ice cream with Grace
Cheers to more blog-friends like Adam Tambakau
Cheers to more outings
Cheers to more late night emo chats with Xi Voon
Cheers to more money
Cheers to more petrol
Cheers to more rainy days
Cheers to more afternoon movies alone in the dark
Cheers to tears and pain
Cheers to a dumbass
Cheers to the Holy Spirit

Sis is coming back in 1 day! Weeeeeeeeeeeeee!!! Muax muax muax muax!!!... I'M FREAKING LOVING THE HOLIDAYS! MAKING THE SHIT MOST OUT OF IT! MORE MORE MORE MORE!!!!

PS: I've not forgotten You, yes, You know that I am talking about You. Never will I. Is there still hope?

-jOhN "vroom" LiM-

It means more than the words...

I am really Sorry,
Truly am,
And it hurts me more,
To know I have hurt you once more

Please accept this apology

Truly

Fun Fun Fun...

More Fun!.. First Up! Must congratulate Mr. Danny Tan on his successful completion of Bible School! Yeap, people, he completed Bible School. Good for him. Rest of them are church peeps.


FR: Gracey Dacey, Amelia, Mernz, Danny, Shahnon (Male), Timmy, Mua, and Sexy Uncle Vincent


Went for nice earthquake afterwards on the Tuesday night with Vinz, Grace n Enoku. Seriously, Tuesday night Earthquakes are FREAKING worth your money. Weeeee.. Looking forward to one more Earthquake before I leave for Japan, but sure do not hope for an earthquake over there.. >.<... Got up early on Wednesday morning at a whopping 7am to get ready for a game of SHIOKNESS TENNIS again after the SUPER long break. Met up with Melissa and Ang Yee with our beloved Pongkarpan. Jean Yi FFK cause apparently she had a counseling session with a career guider. But we were good to go without her anyway, WAHAHAHA...(jk jk).. Played and it was fun fun fun!!.. Had to send Melissa and Ang Yee back home but decided to detour to Melissa's house for "Lou Shi Fun".. Melissa lives in a mansion, enough said. Anyway, had a good time touring. Lolz. Got home right at the tick of 12 and had to confirm another outing to MegaMall with Birthday Girl, Grace and with Loser Vincent. OMG~ TO MY HORROR, kept rounding for parking till dawn. Spend some 45 mins just rounding in MegaMall. I could have gone to Klang by then liou. But anyway, met up with Grace and Vinz afterwards and had luncy with them and guess what, I watched DejaVu again! And I'm NOT regretting it! I love the movie! TO ALL WHO IS FREE, GO WATCH DEJA VU!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT IS FANTASTIC!!!! LOVEEEEE ITT!!.. :P And I'm glad you loved it too Grace and Vinz ;P...
Got stucked in the jam while leaving AGAIN~ And boy was I competing with a bus. Mr. Bus didn't let me go, so Vincent pushed me to compete. He was freaking close. Damn you la Uncle Bus! LOLZ, I freaking won the battle! Wahahaha.. But had good time to catch up with the both of them. Dropped Grace at Yuen for steamboat and left with Vinz for home, at last? NO~ The night was still young. Got home and had dinner with Vinz. Hanged out a bit till and left for church for prayer meeting, though we only arrived, erm, rather, errrm, on time? OK, fine, LATE. Really LATE. LOLz.

After updating dear Gwen and Danny on the happenings, it was time for MORE happenings. Hit the road again and picked up Hot Blogger Chucs and sped off to Curve for more hang out sessions. Ngekz. Met up with Jo Jo, Sarny, JinnJo and EmeliaJo. How could I even forget Dear Diamond. Diamond is one special girl. She even got the waiters asking and customers starring. Soon after each and everyone of us was playing with her by her tail. If you would have added up the distance she walked, it would take you to the moon. She was on a never ending trail of hands. She was truly the model of the night. But other than that, we chatted, laughed, crapped, camwhored, drank and had fun!


Not to mention, before we left, JinnJo had to do this "Award-Winning-Kick" and tossed his shoe on the tree! Hahaha.. We were laughing our heads off. Jinn must have gone tipsy on his Coke? Lolz. But the coolest of all stuffs I did was STEALING A CONE. We got to my car and I saw a cone right in front so I suggested to them that we steal it. So i pulled over beside it and they picked up the cone. Right at that moment, as they close the boot, the guard passed up by. I dashed for our lives! Thank God the dude didn't chase after us. Fuh~ That was really close, but we were going whacko in the car thinking wat we just did! Left for sarny's house for more camwhoring with the cone. We played with the cone as if it was a prop. I shall not post obscene pics of me with the cone, but if you must see it, I think Chucs might post it up soon enough.

That was my Wednesday! Cheers to more! Oh, and for those wondering where we'd put the cone? I left it outside my neighbours house!. Bleks :P

Boy I had funnnn.... Muax you all peeps.. and errrm, Jo, u better watch it, they're about to hit Jinn. Love ya'll peeps!

-jOhN "drunk" LiM-

I had to take the lest picture with the genius. This is the genius that NEVER scores below 80 for EVERY subject.. I emphasise, NEVER.. 

Ah, my beloved Moral teacher.. the teacher beloved NOT the subject.. 

1 cent if you can guess what I was studying.. 

To Old Closures and New Beginnings..

Shalom fellow acquaintances,

It has been a long or should I say short and fast month of grueling papers. Something to be thankful for, I'm done, I'm over it, I'm settled, I'm Finish! Yeah, like how the saying goes, there is a season for everything, a season to sow and reap, a season for toils and disaster, and a season for rejoicing and joy. As one season passes, then comes another. I close the one chapter of life right this moment. I'm filled with mixed feelings. Truly, no one would ever forsee how things would turn out. Firstly, TUN BERAIM BAPA, secondly, K-EKONOMI, thirdly, KESEIMBANGAN DAYA, fourtly, HALIA, and last but not least, DNA!?!?!... SPM candidates would SURELY relate with the certain topics mentioned. But what is pass HAS PAST. Held my head up high, glimmed a smile and I shashayed my way out the open doors. Dewan Berjaya never seemed so airry during Leo events but during the SPM, it was blowing with winds up to a 1000 miles and hour.

I took some time to look at the stage during a paper. I couldn't believe that I had actually performed several times on that stage. A privilege and a priceless experience. I don't want to sound all "studious" and "nerdy" now, but I'm seriously wondering what I would be doing every night now. Sharp at 2000 Hours I would make my way upstairs to my bed and grab a book or two and start doing my stuff till late, like really late. But anyway, honestly, the results, I'm surrendering it all to God. I've done my part, a very small part and now I'm totally surrendering it all to him no matter what the outcome.

Time has it's funny ways of teaching us lessons.

GROWING in time has always been a drag for some people. The moment some people touch their 20's they start complaining each year going on to describe how many strands of snow white hair has popped out from their scalps. Honestly, I hate those comments. HATE it. Hahaha. Being dead honest. I don't see the horror of growing old or maybe just not yet. But for all I remember I had always wanted to be old. Ok, maybe the factor of humans being unthankful is played in here. When they are young, they want to be old, when they are old, they want to be young. Like, WAT THE HELL?!..But the process of GROWING in time has been, a bliss. Ok, maybe not, but you can't really put your finger to it when you really mature if you get what I mean? Before you know it, you've grown, you know? Yeah, you know.

WAITING in time has been the worst. Think back on those times where you've learned lessons through waiting. Waiting in silence. Waiting in darkness and fear. Humans have always been insecure from the brink of time. Adam and Eve were ashamed of their nakedness and confusion kicked in. We've always wanted to know the way, the plans, and the ultimate goal but never realising that we might have missed out the important lessons in life through the process of waiting. It kills to wait right? I've seen many IMPATIENT ones leaving the hall SO frequently that it irritated a few of us. But the worst is waiting for a time to pass. Waiting for an answer, for an uncertainty to be certified. We always look for the right answer. When we're waiting for the bus, we wait for the time the bus will arrive. When we're waiting for the TV Programme Desire:Table for Three, we wait for the right time it starts. Get my point here? Na, me neither, but point is, WE WAIT. (Duh~~)

RISING in time has been the ultimate goal. We fail in time don't we. Excuse is, we needed more time. But time is a fragment, a piece, a link, and probably the most priceless possesion one can ever have. So the time you pour into what ever you are absorbed in is where your heart's possesion lay. Whether it be your friends, studies, TV, porn or playing tennis, if you spend TIME there, well, may I say that there is your priority. Point is, WITH the time we spend in our priorities, are we RISING in it? Are we benefitting in it? Are we growing through it? Are we finding direction and purpose in it? I still remember extremely clearly about 2/3 years back, when I was still assisting Angeline Teh in the SS2 Secondary Cell then, she more or less repremanded me for i-can't-remember-what. But the thing that spoke to me till today from that verse she used was something I live to do now. "Everything is permissible, but not everything is beneficial". You bet, EVERYTHING IS PERMISSIBLE, like hell-yeah EVERYTHING..... BUT... BUT.. BUT.. BUT.. is EVERYTHING beneficial?

I guess the course of time has thought me tons. I would like to claim that I have came out victoriously from each experience but unfortunately I can't. I have made TONS and TONS of mistakes. But we can fail a 1,000,000,000 times but only succeed Once, isn't it? It aint over, I'm only at Fail no-21872349. Teach me. Teach me. Thats all I require. Teach me, Time.

Fact is, it is so easy to point out the failures in life, my regrets, my pain and scar but why? Why look at those when I can look forward. Don't like this philosophy? Live with it sucker! If you ain't looking forward, you can only be looking backwards. Boy, I can count with one hand how many of you would actually read till this line.

Here it is again. A crossroad. Probably the first of the many huge crossroads in life now. I'm faced with a dilemma for college. Help me with this. There are 2 scenarios. Choose the best.

Scenario A - Programme
Choice 1 : American Degree Programme (ADP)
Pros : Yeap, college. ADP. Why ADP? ADP allows me to take a diversified variety of subjects at a time. I will be able to do Drama, Psychology and even Biology while pursuing a business course with Communications, Specialist Mathematics and Economics. Get the picture? HUGE variety all at one point.
Cons : The ADP is a very FREEEE programme and I hate it! I hate living without direction or purpose everyday. I will have too much free time at hand and I hate it. (Sorry for sounding so errr hardworking?). Anothing this is that very few Australian Unis or UK Unis recognise the ADP except the USA. That would mean, I would HAVE to go the the States.

Choice 2 : South Australian Matriculation (SAM)
Pros : I won't have much free time conpared to ADP. Though I think it would waive on me through time, but for now, being free isn't an option. SAM is also WIDELY recognise in Australia and especially when I'm vying for Melbourne U.
Cons : Apparently, it can get quite hectic and academic. Constant hardwork and effort must be added to the pot to score well. Note: Entry for most Degree courses in Melbourne U requires an average of >80. Medical at Melbourne U is 99!!! A whopping 99!
Scenario B - Time of Entry
Choice A : January
Pros : I wont waste anytime. I would touch down from Japan on the 6th of January and for ADP it starts on the 8th and 3rd for SAM both at Taylors. School would start immediately.
Cons : It might be a bit heavy for my body right after the month long trip in Japan. I would also be late for SAM for the first few days which are crucial for new friendships and cliques to form.

Choice B March
Pros : I can join Benjo after his NS. We would go in college together though he has no idea what he wants to do. During the mean time, I was thinking of following my youth pastor, Ps. Julie on her hospital trips and even a missions trip to Indonesia in January. I would have time on my hand and I could even work in February to earn some bucks.
Cons : I would be on express class for SAM and a rush programme la. I would be late 1 whole term for ADP. In short, I'll be slow for no apparent reason just for missing the January intake.

So hows? Help me decide? I have got 11 days to decide. I will have to apply for college like, NOW if I want to go for January.

So yet again, John has loads of worries and thoughts on the back of his mind, but I can manage it. Life is full of decision making. Weeeeee... Seriously, anyone having a course on Decision Making in Life? I want to attend! But then again, we have sermons all through out the year.

Boy boy, one long post. Before I leave, I must say something. To all my friends, especially the ones in Form 5 and leaving, Au Revoir, Bon Voyage, Sayonara, Take care. My prayers are with you. Truly, I wish all the best to all my friends. I hold each and everyone of you dearly and closely to my heart. As we go our separate ways, I do hope our roots will always remain the same. So spread your wings and fly now. Fly high and touch the sky and stop not at the clouds but aim for the sun. Loving you all. Special shoutout to Poh Lynn who will be leaving soon, I've always like you as a person. You've steadfast on your principles and that is what is gonna bring you far in life. Cheers to you.

Ahh, how relieve after the long break. Watch out for more updates! Weee.. till then, I leave you with more pics. Oh and my first host will be in Himegi, Hyogo which is near Osaka. Map enclosed. Love ya'll!!!


With Love,
-jOhN "enjoying" LiM-

Farewell, for now..

psss.. i sit behind.. wahahahah!

Alas the moment hath arrive, to bid bitter farewells and blow goodbye kisses. The feeling didn't kick in to me that it was the last day of school until everyone was leaving. I won't look back now, not just yet.. Year 2006 is one - Undescribable year -. Wait for summary after Japan la. But for now, its farewell to dear Bloggy till after SPM. Loads has been happening in my mind, good and bad (mostly bad), but the hell you care.. Till SPM, here is a poem of thoughts..

My yesterdays are all boxed up,
Deeply put away,
Ending everything in abrupt,
Distancing thoughts of torns, Wishing it was the end of the darkened day

Loneliness has new meanings day by day,
But only to be granted to the weak, to one that knows no dirrection,
One that only seeks cover, protection and prayer,
Slowly diminishing every other person, only to be found trapped in one's own fears

Is there someplace far away, someplace where all is clear
Easy to start over with the ones you hold so dear
Or are you left to wonder, all alone, eternally
This isn't how it's really meant to be
No it isn't how it's really meant to be

I end it here, wondering to regret or to forget?
To move on or be pushed on?
To carry through or to be dragged by a bull?
To choose life or death?
To scurry through memories that long should be forgotten,
To only be reminded I am always facing disappointment,
And that I am, a great Disappointment

ALL THE BEST MY FELLOW FRIENDS, MY HEARTIEST WISHES TO EACH AND EVERYONE OF YOU SITTING FOR THE SPM!! GAMBATE!!

- random pics...sigh.. should have taken more pics :( sorry peeps -

Caryn, I know you read my blog, and yes, you do look good in this pic.. LOLz..

Jean Yi, on the other hand, doesn't read my blog, but you look good here too.. LoLz

-jOhN "pleeding" LiM-

Hey excuse me

Hi my name is Bob and I work at my job

I make forty-some dollars a day

I used to be the man in my hometown

'til I started to lose my way

It all goes back to when I dropped out at school

Having fun, I was living the life

But now I got a problem with that little white rock

See I can put down the pipe

And...

And it's breaking me down

Watching the world spin round

While my dreams fall down

Is anybody out there?

It is breaking me down

No more friend around...

And my dreams fall down...

Is anybody out there?

Can anybody out there hear me?

'Cause I can't seem to hear myself

Can anybody out there see me?

'Cause I can't seem to see myself...

There's gotta be a heaven somewhere

Can you save me from this hell?

Can anybody out there feel me?

'Cause I can't seem to feel myself

Losing my way

Keep losing my way...

Keep losing my way...

Can you help me find my way?

Losing my way

Keep losing my way

Keep losing my way...

Can you help me find my way?

Oh my god please forgive me (father hear my pray)

'Cause I know I've done some wrong in this life

If I could do it all again

Have just one more chance

To take all those wrongs and make them right

Courtesy of Justin Timberlake - Losing My Way

Boo Ya! Nice song.. Love Justin Timberlake's music.. All of 'em!.. Must get FutureSex/LoveSounds liou... Wakakaka...

O M Gosh, the hols have been so................. o.O-ness.... ughh.... Can't describe it at all man.. sigh.. Anyway, did alot-alot of cycling and not to mention walking too.. Hehehe.. Been loving the moody weather.. Damn.. Hehehe.. Sigh, don't wanna type la.. Be good ya people ;) Love ya'll and appreciating each and everyone of you.. Sorry

-watashiwa "jOhN LiM" san-

Read between the lines,
Now, you are wise to allign your eyes here,
You might understand just fine,
Or is it because of one's fate?
As the course of time shapes cultures and societies,
But allow me to share the secrets of my heart,
So may it shape the path of man and formalities,
Like how a father may care for a son,
May traditions and rules be broken,
Like how a mother may die for the family,
May ideas and mindsets be challenged,
That is how I care for you,
Let the matters of the heart be revealed,
I do not want to retrograde things further,
Let Lovers be plagued by troubles and worries,
I am never good at sophism,
So that Love may be shown through concern and merry,
So let me bring forth my point,
So that Love should not be bought by patronage and scurry,
I am clueless to what has been happening,
Thus let Love run free, Belittling space and matter,
So open my eyes, let me see, free me from these shackles,
Let not this paradox be dismayed or despised,
Baby, if I could, I would be your slave,
Because beneath it, lay true meaning and feeling
Forgive me, because of you, I would go down the grave..
OH This is Fun.. lolz.. Copyright ok!
-John Lim-

You may be surprise what people do out of boredom.. Take care comrades ;)
Fight the Good fight and Win it.. You never really lose until you give up..

Emmanuel,
-jOhN LiM-

Of God's Timing

You have no idea how God has been surprising me.

As you guys have been reading or just talking to me, you know I have been through some tough times, just discovering myself, worrying and so on. But point is, God has been perfect in His timing.

I have been really depending so much on my own strength so many times. I have relied on my own strength in the exams, friendships, work, on handling cell, my future, studies, plans and everything. I "calculate" so much on my next move that I get soooooo cooked up over everything that happens and because of that I worry so so so much. I worry about college, I worry about results... And worrying is a HUGE sign that I ain't putting my trust and faith in God.

Benjo always scold me and shout at me to stop calculating what will happn next, and its true. Had a good talk with my Youth Pastor this morning about where I am right now. She had call me up earlier during the week that she had just wanted to talk to see how I am doing. I was really confused then but now it is all coming clear. There were some things in my life I had to get rid of immediately and God was speaking so clearly, but I was blinded by my pride.
Two things that have been highlighted the past weeks:
1. My Pride
2. My lack of Trust in God

There are so many incidents I can mention that God was trying to humble me, but i never got the hint. So he brought forth a huge hammer to nail me down. As some of you might know, I recently applied for a scholarship with HELP Uni for my Pre-U. I got shortlisted for the interviews but however at the interview I was turned down. It was an extremely painful humbling process. Well, some of you might think its really nothing, but I was really counting on it. Firstly, of course I want to help my parents but lightening the burden. Secondly, SO many of us from my school went for it and I THOUGHT that if I didn't get it it would be extremely humiliating. Yes, some of you might think it is dumb now, but yeah, pride, you see? The other lesson I've learned from this experience is to totally rely on God. See, I depend so much on my own strength that I didn't surrender it to God. And if I had made it through the interview, I would have thought I made it on my own. And that is not what God intends. He has plans for my future, as well as yours, but the only things He wants is my trust and whole reliance on Him.

See, even by that small lesson I've learned so much. Its waking up time. Its only the first lesson to be learnt and if I don't, it is bound to repeat itself in a bigger way. All these time, I was thinking that I was walking alone, but I always had God by my side, my family, and my friends, Benjo, En En, Vinz, Xiangz, Jo Jo, Vickz, and soooo many more that have been there by my side.

God just has His way in speaking to you through people, angels. Benjoz was just self professing that he was an Angelic Benjo :P Aren't you glad sometimes that you can be there for people when they are in need?

I was just so tired of feeling so down and sick these past few nights and went to my Dad's Personal Library and grabbed any book that looked appealing. My hands went straight for the book that said "Be a People Person" - John C. Maxwell. I've always like being a people person. But I had just been telling my friends, I have recently develop a characteristc that is not too good. I've grown to be a people pleaser. It may sound as if it is a good thing, but in actual fact, it isn't. At one point, I craved to pleasseee people so much that I neglect my own needs. I want to be "in" and "hip" that I change to be.... Weird?... But it didn't work out man. So I decided to be become a People Person instead. Let me not write the whole book now, but it really did encourage me. Let me just highlight that highlights that spoke to me.

"The golden rule is putting yourself in someone else's place instead of putting them in their place" - Relate to them

"Treat others like how you want to be treated"

"Determine not to be a reactor but an initiator... You need not react to circumstances but turn it around"

"Appreciate, Forgive and Listen to others.." Something I am still learning..

"Charisma = Concern, Help, Action, Results, Influence, Sensitivity, Motivation, Affirmation"

"You can't always control what happens to you, but you can control what happens in you"

Lessons well learned......... I'm learning, so teach me, please....

Good night,
-jOhN "learning" LiM-

Dear Readers,

Wassuup Hommiess... How ya Uncle n Aunties doin~? A lil shoutout for those sitting for the SPM in a month's time, ALL THE BEST PEEPS!!.. KEEP IT COMING, PUSH IT TO THE LIMITS, CHALLENGE YOURSELF, and BEAT THOSE SUCKAs! Wooops.. HAHAHHA.. Anyway, well, life is as it is.

I guess you guys are smart enough to know that I ain't doing too well coping with everything around me lately. Pressures, studies, time, friendship, and everything... But I guess its time i step up to it, accept whatever the circumstances and MOVE ON! Really... I had a good conversation with my sis in Perth one night. Shoutout: I LOVE YOU!

She was totally at my position at her age, ok well maybe later. But point is, she totally understood me. You know, humans are just weird. We just want to be accepted, understood, supported, loved, cared for, given attention and praised. I'm not ashamed to admit, yes, I do at a certain extend want to be accepted as well. Its just so natural. Everyone needs it, acceptance and just not to be ridiculed. Even Mr. Amara needs some sort of encouragement man. C'mon. Thats why I'm planning to get really nice small cute stuff for ALL my teachers from Form 1 to Form 5 from Japan to give them when I get back in January. They deserve it. I was just telling Isaac, even the lousiest of teachers need some kind of encouragement. It would have been unfortunate that I have not benefitted from some of these sucky teachers but who knows, maybe because of these small gift of appreciation, their future students might just benefit from it. ANYWAY, point is, we as humans, want to love and vice versa. Quote from the Moulin Rouge which by the way is an excellent show "The greatest thing you'll ever learn is to love and be loved in return"... Oh boy, I can go on about how I feel about that statement...

But Point is, if you haven't realised, John has certainly change and I do acknowledge that some of you have even came up to me and told me so. I do realise the change in me as well. Time has really taken a toll on me and I have been really, different, in the way I view things, express myself, feel about myself, and how I just behave. But see, the point I'm writting all these down is to record my progress. Don't forget, the point of this blog was to just simply jot down the little baby steps that I have been taking. It is really different. I was just browsing my previous post one night I realised how Iv've changed, first physically from the pictures, mentally, from my view and thoughts, and even my writting. But yes, to just simply record down my development. I want to help others. I want to be honest here so that any of you that browse through the post and feel the way I am will be encouraged that, you are not alone.

I face challenges too. Temptations. Compromise. Hurts. Rejection. Defamation. Failure. Loneliness. And boy oh boy I had a tough time getting out of all these pot holes. But I guess life is all about these lessons. Getting up and standing tall once again to really just pull yourself out from the failure. We can NEVER run away from problems, so why still run. Face it, and hit it hard. Hit it hard that it will never come back again. I'm still learning. It will never be easy. But like the old saying goes, what don't kill you will only make you stronger. I guess God has a purpose for me to feel these way. The only thing I can tell myself now is that if I can't handle these things now, I'll crumble in the waves of the world.

My God-Bro mentioned the other day that if it was not because of all his challenges that he faced when things were tough, he wouldn't be standing strong and even encouraging me today. He understood me when I said that God is just silent. He felt the same way at a point. He felt as though God had just abandon him. I've thought of things like these before, that God is deaf, He doesn't care, and so on. My sis even felt that way. But now when I look a little back into time, I realised that I just ain't relying on God. I just ain't doing the right thing. We say it too often that I'm gonna Trust God, I'm gonna rely on Him, but we ain't Trusting him fully with all we got, nope, we ain't trusting God with all our heart. And until I do that, I will never truly understand His riches.

I really don't know where this whole post came from but it sure is fresh air from the previous emo posts. Don't you just get sick sometimes sinking in the shit you're in? I got sick of it, just dwelling on the dark side. Starting over, Getting up, Moving on............ John now molded by the phase of time..........

Not denying that there are still things that are not resolved, but everything is going on hold now, my emotions, my thoughts...... because SPM IS IN A MONTHS TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hahaha.. well... But the greatest thing about all these is always having a Best Friend by your side. Someone to always be by your side. Someone that will "swt" at your dumb messages. Someone to sneak out with you late night. Someone to have makan with when you're all alone and hungry. When you're feeling all emo. These past few weeks when I was really really emo like probably every night, Ben sticked with me. Haha, and boy I was blind not to realise. Its weird that people really don't know how to appreciate things only when they are shaken. He has always been there. Always. And how stupid was I to still complain and whine when all attention was given to me. Every single attention was given to me but I was so blinded with my selfishness that I fail to see how much the people around me actually truly cared for me. You know, sometimes, when we are so blinded in our selfishness, we really dunno how to appreciate how much people care for us. How much our loved ones really love us and care for us. We get so uptide and cooked up with only OURSELVES that we really ignore others. How much love and concern they've shown. Boy oh boy, just how different are we people. Just by expressing ourselves. Expressing love, care and concern. So many different ways.

Oh how comlpex we are as human beings. Just the way we think, the way we speak and express ourselves. Its all in the mind. The Battlefield of the Mind. I'm getting so interested in the behaviour of people.. Hmmm... I'm discovering my love for psychology now.. hahah... good night people..

Bon Voyage,
-jOhN "changed" LiM-


PS: Thanx Benjo~ :)

Isaac burn my lantern :( 

Lantern Festival :P 

At King's request ;) 

Of a Dumbass Prank..

Greetings once again. How ya'll? Hope everyone is doing better than me. LOLz. Anyways, regarding the heading, well, this was what happened.

So, yet again after being FFK-ed by Xiang and Isaac, Ernie, Benjoz and I was left to go drink by ourselves. After picking those 2 assholes, we went for a drink at Ming Tien. Surprisingly, I met my tennis coach there with a few chiqs at his side. I was extremely reluctant to say hi considering the fact I avoid his phone calls so often. It is unfortunate that the exams have waived me down till I have to abandon tennis. I promise after getting back from Japan I will resume my lessons. Till then, sayonara. Anyway, so Ernie wanted to drive my car back home. Me being a push-over allowed him to take the wheel. Alright, so I happily sat behind to let Benjoz enjoy himself in the front seat. However Benjoz refuse to sit in front and demanded I sat in front before he walked home. At that moment my ass felt heavy, so, I didnt budge. Benjoz then stormed off. I was happily getting comfortable with my seat while Ern adjusted his seat. So, after some time, Ben had left for some time now. Ern took his sweet time driving around. Soon after we decided to look for Benjo. Fine, we went straight to SS2 area. We looked around for a moment before we decided to turn back into Megah area. As you can read, we fail to find that rascal. Ok, fine. Ern didn't really want to care anymore and wanted to test the abilities of my CLK (Cute Little Kelisa). So we "fei che" (fly car) on the LDP probably reaching at least 110 km/h. He had no doubts that it is a good car. Ngek ngekz, just like the driver ;). Anyway, we decided to wait outside Ben's house for him to come back.

We quietly parked the car and offed the lights and observed the surroundings. We noticed that the doors were open and Benjoz hadn't reached home. So we continued waiting. After a little while Ern had to go back. But we took a last round before leaving. But by the second time we came around, the doors were closed and the slippers were all over. We KNEW Ben was home. So we decided to message him. The twist was, I was to say that I had already sent Ernnie home and I was searching for Ben all alone all these while. Benjoz reacted back asking if I was sure that Ern was really back home. And yes, I lied that Ern was already home. So, like the typical Ben, he just had to hit back on me. Ok, Fine. After settling in my heart that Ben was safely home, we left for Ern's home. We stopped outside Ern's house and chatted for some time. Was really good time getting to know Ern a lil more, NOT in the physical way :P, but it wouldn't be a problem if I could (Hahaha). My bladder was darn full in the car. Anyway, I decided to go into his house and use his toilet. Got carried away and soon enough we were online. Met Benjoz online and this was where the drama began.

Immediately when Ern went online first Ben alarmed him that his phone got stolen. Yes, we knew it was bullshit. But soon after Xiang came messaging saying that Benjoz had just got his phone stolen. So were like, WTH? Benjoz started being pissed and told us what had happened. I was really unsure at that time whether it was true. After much deliberation between Ern and I, Ern decided to call him. Little that I know, it was going to be a big hoax. Fine, so Ern called and told me that he had really lost his phone! This was where I went, SHIT HEAD!... Ben's complaints and sigh-ing became more real and convincing. At this moment, I was..... SHITTY. I was frozen like SHOCKED, STUNNED, REGRETFUL. Story has it that as soon as Ern and I left his home, Benjoz got to his gate and suddenly a robber came and took his phone and 50 bucks. Mind you, Benjoz and I just got our new phone together a week ago. Yes, and it is darn expensive and new. So I was freaking out in Ern's house while he was, errr.. somehow pretty occupied. Hmmm... I wonder why~ Anyway, my heart was pounding like a locomotive train, beating to the song of a thousand screams. I was darn scared. My mind was running, that if he had lost his phone, what could have happened, his mom would blame me cause i allowed him to walk back, his aunty would be darn pissed cause she got him the new phone, and I was even thinkin of giving mine to him. My mind was going wild. But I was darn thankful that Ben was safe. Ok, fine. I was freaking out.

SUDDENLY, Benjoz said there was someone outside his house. Well, APPARENTLY, the robber had been insaf and came to return the ****ing phone and his 50 bucks. Boy oh boy, at that moment, MY MIND WENT, KAPAU?!??!?!! WTH?!! At that moment I knew it was all fake. Ern burst in laughter, Ben finally admitted it was fake. I went into a frenzy. I felt, so lost, didn't know how to react, my emotions were soooooooo mixed when he told me that his phone got stolen and now he's telling me he got it back and it was all fake. I went crazy. Benjoz started thanking Ern and Xiang for sticking with the plan. WHAT FISHING PLAN?!?!?!?!? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! I started raping Ern at that moment. Felt so cheated man. A part of me was sooo relieved that it wasn't true.

And the rest is history. Boy, they sure know how to fool John. I'm just so dumb, naive, useless, stupid and then list goes on.

Well, tonight had a small gathering for the Mid-Autumn Festival, or in other words, we went out to play lantern ;) Haze was terrible but we had good fun ;) Cheers to you people!

Take care everyone, hope you aren't facing what I am right now. Life still a mess, but well, MOVE ALONG MAN~

-jOhN "freak" LiM-

Random Pic we shot from my car with our new k800i.. wakakaka