Of God's Timing

You have no idea how God has been surprising me.

As you guys have been reading or just talking to me, you know I have been through some tough times, just discovering myself, worrying and so on. But point is, God has been perfect in His timing.

I have been really depending so much on my own strength so many times. I have relied on my own strength in the exams, friendships, work, on handling cell, my future, studies, plans and everything. I "calculate" so much on my next move that I get soooooo cooked up over everything that happens and because of that I worry so so so much. I worry about college, I worry about results... And worrying is a HUGE sign that I ain't putting my trust and faith in God.

Benjo always scold me and shout at me to stop calculating what will happn next, and its true. Had a good talk with my Youth Pastor this morning about where I am right now. She had call me up earlier during the week that she had just wanted to talk to see how I am doing. I was really confused then but now it is all coming clear. There were some things in my life I had to get rid of immediately and God was speaking so clearly, but I was blinded by my pride.
Two things that have been highlighted the past weeks:
1. My Pride
2. My lack of Trust in God

There are so many incidents I can mention that God was trying to humble me, but i never got the hint. So he brought forth a huge hammer to nail me down. As some of you might know, I recently applied for a scholarship with HELP Uni for my Pre-U. I got shortlisted for the interviews but however at the interview I was turned down. It was an extremely painful humbling process. Well, some of you might think its really nothing, but I was really counting on it. Firstly, of course I want to help my parents but lightening the burden. Secondly, SO many of us from my school went for it and I THOUGHT that if I didn't get it it would be extremely humiliating. Yes, some of you might think it is dumb now, but yeah, pride, you see? The other lesson I've learned from this experience is to totally rely on God. See, I depend so much on my own strength that I didn't surrender it to God. And if I had made it through the interview, I would have thought I made it on my own. And that is not what God intends. He has plans for my future, as well as yours, but the only things He wants is my trust and whole reliance on Him.

See, even by that small lesson I've learned so much. Its waking up time. Its only the first lesson to be learnt and if I don't, it is bound to repeat itself in a bigger way. All these time, I was thinking that I was walking alone, but I always had God by my side, my family, and my friends, Benjo, En En, Vinz, Xiangz, Jo Jo, Vickz, and soooo many more that have been there by my side.

God just has His way in speaking to you through people, angels. Benjoz was just self professing that he was an Angelic Benjo :P Aren't you glad sometimes that you can be there for people when they are in need?

I was just so tired of feeling so down and sick these past few nights and went to my Dad's Personal Library and grabbed any book that looked appealing. My hands went straight for the book that said "Be a People Person" - John C. Maxwell. I've always like being a people person. But I had just been telling my friends, I have recently develop a characteristc that is not too good. I've grown to be a people pleaser. It may sound as if it is a good thing, but in actual fact, it isn't. At one point, I craved to pleasseee people so much that I neglect my own needs. I want to be "in" and "hip" that I change to be.... Weird?... But it didn't work out man. So I decided to be become a People Person instead. Let me not write the whole book now, but it really did encourage me. Let me just highlight that highlights that spoke to me.

"The golden rule is putting yourself in someone else's place instead of putting them in their place" - Relate to them

"Treat others like how you want to be treated"

"Determine not to be a reactor but an initiator... You need not react to circumstances but turn it around"

"Appreciate, Forgive and Listen to others.." Something I am still learning..

"Charisma = Concern, Help, Action, Results, Influence, Sensitivity, Motivation, Affirmation"

"You can't always control what happens to you, but you can control what happens in you"

Lessons well learned......... I'm learning, so teach me, please....

Good night,
-jOhN "learning" LiM-