HK
HK
San Francisco
Golden Gate bridge@San Francisco
Batchgirls Pooja and Aishwarya@San Francisco
New Haircut, new chic glasses
Avenue of Stars@HK again

Where do I go from here?

Life's challenges only proves to be such a pain in the ass. Yes, in the ass. I'm sick of all the crap you're throwing at me. Its time to prove to the world I'm worth so much more than what it has been treating me. I'm surrounded with so much insecurities. Trying so hard to prove to the people around me that I am capable, capable of performing and destroying. I'm crumbling. Each moment has been more pain. I'm sick to the bone of how people has behaved. But why? Why do I try so hard to force my opinion on others? Why do I expect so much only to be disappointed over and over and over again. I need someone to show me the light. Are you afraid of me? Do I scare you with all my opinions? Do I scare you with all my manifestations? And did I disappoint you?

I'm such a mess. Time and time again I seek for answers to my questions only to reach an end. A question only leads to more questions. I'm tired. Really tired.

I just want to rest. Lie in your arms, put my head to rest. Let my tears flow onto your lap as you caress my hair. Hold your hand tight close to my heart. Hear your gentle whispers in my ear. Curl up to feel a sense of security we've felt years ago in the womb. Smell the sweet gentle sea breeze. Would you be my save room, my sense of security, my hiding place, my home.... Its so cold outside. I just want to let down my guard in your presence.

Is it suppose to be this way? Why am I the only one feeling this way? Tell me, do you feel this way too? Confused, afraid, hurt, young, lost..... AGAIN.

-jOhN "needs his amazing grace" LiM-