Yeap, I'm Listening..

It was as if he was speaking to me alone and Me alone. If I was gonna wait for the Church to be perfect to be satisfied, it'll never happen because we are all humans and we ain't perfect in anyway, however we do strive for perfection till the day comes. I'm sure some of you might be lost here but here it goes. I was lying on my bed last night at 3:13 am with my eyes shut and mind running. Maybe it was because of the lack of sleep the night before too but somehow I might have had a mood swing and i started thinking really negative bout Life and things I was doin whether it be in church, school and so on. Personally, I have a very high expectation in everything I do and in everyone I look up to. But somehow, when one has HIGH n really HIGH expectations on things and how humans SHOULD behave, one is bound to be DISAPPOINTED. Trust me, Humans aren't to be trusted [I'm human too, thus don't trust me?.. lolz]. Hey, we ALL have to admit, we make mistakes and we all ain't perfect but its not about the IMPERFECTION of human life but how we tackle the problems and issues. I had attended a Worship Workshop this morning at church where Ps. Jason only actually spoke a key opening message. But it had substance in his word. There was such authority in his words. It was as if he was directing everything to Me alone amongst the 300 people at Parousia. Well, this "false expectations" apply to EVERY aspect in our live [this was not in his key note address.. my thoughts]. If you really think into it, marriages also break up because in this society now, sometimes people get involve TOO fast and there is always that "expectation" for the relationship to be of heavenly, loving 24/7, flawless, quarelless and so on. However when conflict arises and misunderstandings, people get frustrated and soon disappointment creaps in kills the relationship softly [killing me softly~~].

Well, I'm still in the slwo process of really learning what it is NOT to place "false expectations" but to take things as it comes. Its gonna be a hard process because by nature, I expect the SMART to BE smart, the Leaders to be Perfect and Encouraging, Pastors to all spiritual, Friends to be all polite and kind, Teachers to be all Smart and able to present well, Doctors to be healers, Firemans to save lives, Policeman to be righteous, Roddick to win the Masters, and Malaysia to be somehow nucleared by the Americans [just jokin, to all you Love-Malaysia Fanatics]. BUT not all smart people are smart in every area, leaders can't even lead sometimes, pastor's are human too, friends backstab, alot of teachers just cant teach and You know who i mean, Doctors can't heal for God's sake, even fireman themselves get blazed in the blaze, policeman are desperate for "duit kopi", Roddick LOST AGAIN~, and Malaysia seems to be in harmony [wat the?!!].

In conclusion, if I have convince to see the cup as half EMPTY, well, I'm gonna convince You that it IS HALF FULL. It all comes down to this again, WE AIN'T PERFECT. I like the saying that its not about whether you failed or not that you are called a failure in life but you are a failure if only you decide to stay there in your shit and give all hope up. Get up child!

The last thing I must mention that in the midst of all my disappointment I still did find fulfillment. In God. I've learn never to depend on man but only on God [sigh of relieve].

I could go on.. so many things to talk about la.. hahaha.. but i shant. Enough for one night to take. Dowan to turn ur mood upside down tonight.. hehehe.. Its gonna be another B E A Utiful day Tmr!.. WOOHOO!!... LUNCH WIF GAY! OOPS.. GUY!.. HAHHAHHA.. Gotta get back to my bed now.. lolz..

A special SHOUT OUT to Tan Ee Jin before I leave, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!.. well, I might as well post my message to you. WEll Ee Jin, You are ONE special girl. Till today I'm still amaze at such energy and enthusiasm you have. I hope it carries through out this 16th Year of Your life. Enjoy it while You can!.. Love you and I cherish our friendship!.. Hug

Deep in thoughts
-jOhN LiM-