This the season to be Jolly. Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Well, albeit too early for the season, Thanksgiving is just moments away.

Never celebrated Thanksgiving in my life, and this is a first for me. Feeling a bit weird-ed out because of the whole festivity. Its really affecting me being all away and family-less here.

But a friend once said, that only I can choose my Happiness, for which I will choose.

Happy Thanksgiving my friends.

pss: I'm Thankful that I have the opportunity to be here, in New York, family-less :P

John

Just when I rant out my frustrations, I am reminded of how the only person that affect the way I feel about life is Me. The only person who truly can make me happy is only Me, and I can always choose to see things in a different way. Determining my true focus and taking ownership of my decisions is a key to this Happiness.

I am further reminded to be Proactive and actively search for greater heights and never limiting myself. I was just telling you of how "helpless" I felt being in a foreign land with disadvantages and obstacles ahead of me, but truly, they were all just illusions. Illusions in my head, put there to hinder the Dream ahead. Illusions that periodically blind me in times of darkness. But I will always be reminded that these, are just Illusions. A false idea. A deception. Only pressed to destroy the weak. But I am not weak. And I will thrive above this challenge. If I start filling my Circle of Influence with responsible actions, then I am, at the end of the day, responsible for my own effectiveness, my own happiness and ultimately, for most of my circumstances. I say here most of my circumstances because some circumstances are without a doubt, permanent eg: I am, Chinese LOL. But having said all these, I believe it is important to know that WE, ourselves, is ultimately responsible or "response-able" to our own effectiveness.

Its time to step up and take responsibility for my own choices and not blame others for it. It is a trap to go into the blaming, accusing mode. Work on things you have control over, work on You. I like this saying to "look at the weaknesses of others with compassion, not accusation. Its not what they're not doing or should be doing thats the issue. The issue is your own chosen response to the situation and what you should be doing about it". Its about time to stop pointing the finger to say the problem is "out there". The problem isn't "in here" either, but that very thought is just very dangerous.

Tonight, I also began to realize how much of a opinionated person that I am. I don't know how many people I have worked with realized this or have even told me. I was watching an episode of the Apprentice where a 'dictating leader' was fired because she thought she had it all and dictated every step, even till her loss. I somewhat felt that I had that kind of leadership style as well. I didn't listen too much to others and often thought my ideas were there best (but in fact, most of the time they are :/ ) Haha. But the point is, its time to listen to what others have got to say. I am, just human. And I apologize here tonight, if I had ever offended anyone along the way if I was too strong headed or offensive

Today was a good one. We were down on Wall Street for a visit to the Bank of New York Mellon, the largest Asset Management Bank in the whole of United States. We were at the headquarters and had lunch with the current CFO, Thomas "Todd" Gibbons in the Boardroom. I told the the Finance Society's President, Anton, that these trips were the kind that inspired Dreams, and it sparked that flame in me. Mr Gibbons told us, that he aspired to be a CFO when he was in college when he first opened a Finance Textbook and read the page where it described the role of a CFO and he told himself "I want to be a CFO". And there I was, sitting on the Boardroom chair and said to myself "I like this. I want to be a CFO too". Today, a Dream is birthed.

CFO John Lim? :)
My Bloomberg Terminal :)

Blistering through the storm. Scurrying through the thick fog.

Looking through for a clear path amidst the dark smog.

Sometimes I wonder how'd I got so caught up in myself to get this far. It ain't a bad thing, but it ain't an easy thing to do either. I'm in this place thats so foreign to anyone I know. No one has ever been here to tell me stories of how they fought through the rain, of how they victoriously won the battles, of how they rose high and above the rest. No one. Yes, if you're asking me, I do feel dumbfounded sometimes at how I never fail to amaze myself everyday. Just fighting for my happiness. I've never allowed anything to let me down or tear me apart or to tell me no. Where'd this determination came from you ask? I really can't say. I guess it came from all the strive I had to survive from. I'd must admit I never came from a preppy home/background or white collared privileged white boy who schooled in the greatest schools, robed in the finest Kashmir.

Growing up, I guess I developed this sense of "I must just do more/above average than others to just make it pass that mark". I came to understand that I had to work harder, I had to be better. I had to prove something to myself just to be "like others". Don't get me wrong here, I'm not complaining nor am I comparing, but I just knew I had MORE to do.

Coming here made me realize how much and bad I really want "it". "It" you ask? Yes, IT. Its hard. I'm gonna name a few things now that may sound controversial or unfair or just plain ignorant, but I'm just gonna do it anyway because I am entitled free speech and a fair opinion of my own. Coming here I'd realize how much "background" and "status" matters. This has just further enforced my fight for success. The Asian, totally UN-filthy-ly rich, petite, baby-faced kid has arrived and he ain't planning to move.

I think about it all the time. If I was born here, I was sure I'd be in an Ivy League now. Truly, the weight American Companies put on your education is just heavy. Every other Ivy alumni is practically just monopolizing the Big Four, Silicon valley's galore of multi-billion giant companies. Google, Facebook, Oracle, Microsoft for instance, are just filled with Yale, Brown, UCLA, and Columbia graduates. Everyone is just practically classmates. And the little boy who hails from Adelphi wants to play with the big boys. I've been trying to get my hands dirty with some of the networking events with JP Morgan and Goldman Sachs to realize that "due to overwhelming response", God knows who they'd pick them from. No need to mention names here, but we all know who got in dont we?

Ladies and Gentleman, I really hope you don't get me wrong here. All I am saying here is that though fo the most of you who will or are reading my blog right now don't hail from Yale, Harvard, Columbia or even NYU, need not fret or belittle yourself, because I am definitely NOT belittling my ownself! The purpose of this post is to encourage you out there, that it isn't impossible to fight for your happiness! Trust me! Hardworking, positive thinking and smart people do make it somewhere! Follow my little stories and you'll see how my life turns out. Though I may not hail from such prestigious preppy institutions, Adelphi has been bringing me to greater heights and allowing opportunities in different ways. This weekend I have an appointment with the CFO of Bank of New York Mellon's where I will meet him in the headquarters on Wall Street.

I'm optimistic and you should always be too because you can never know what opportunities will pop your way. I've seen so many friends only bumping into the love of their life at 30 or sort, and hell, I'm ONLY 21!

Friends, Family, and guests, I urge you, don't ever give up your Dreams or Hopes because if you fight for it, you'll get it. Though you may not have the upper hand most of the times, be realistic, plan, prepare and attack. This is not a game for the weak, because there will always be losers on one end, and winners on the other, and if and unless you are sure to win, don't try ;P

I have always believe in the Power of Projection and Determination. So if you're not game for it, don't sign up honey :) And for the rest whos names are on the list, we're in for a ride!

Raise your glasses to this!

Love from New York,

John

Time. It was only a matter of time that I came back to my roots.

Change is all that happened.

Thinking of how blessed I am to have been given this opportunity lightens my spirit. But knowing that I was given the opportunity didn't mean I didn't have to prepare myself to work for what I want to be at right now today.

I've definitely seen growth mentally and a significant change of opinions and values. I have grown to see things in very new perspectives. I am still developing new senses of opinions and standards for my life. I have definitely not been satisfied with where I've been and have and will always be striving for the best that I can be. I have never believed in mediocracy and mere living. I hunger Success, Dreams and Passion. I dive into a game of pushing myself to the limit everyday, to learn from the very best, to gain from valuable experiences and to understand knowledge that is freely available. I scorn at the people who live their life with no direction or passion, who walk each day with no goal or bearing.

At the end of the day, opportunities aren't just there for us, You have to find them. And if no effort or thought is even poured into the process, what can you expect to get? Don't just walk the face of this earth in your lifetime, endeavor to Fly.

This game is of no others, but Yours. Do not let others do the thinking for you, Swim your Own race! Get up and get out there and do something for your own good! I'd like to believe that Happiness will never fall on your lap. You'll have to fight for your Happiness. Just too many people wait too long to make a change in their lives. Its never the right time, because the time is Now! Wait no longer for Barbara to come home, wait no longer for the flowers to bloom, wait no longer for the cows to come home. It is time. Be a self-starter. Initiative, is what separates you from the pack. Determination, is what brings you to the best. Passion, is what drives you to Success.

Hard times you say? Await for many to be in your way. But remember, they will only be in your way but there will always be a way around it, my friend. Its true. It will never be the end, because when one door closes, many others will be opened. So don't be dismayed when faces with challenges, cause when you look back, you can only smile and see how you've accomplished it.

Start Dreaming. Start Believing in Your Dream. Start asking yourself Real questions. Start searching for the Truth. Start Now.

Living abroad in Singapore for the past 2 years allowed me to see things and explore options and understand cultures and differences, but little did I know, how it has prepared me for New York. This, is living abroad.

Disparity? Difference? Despair? Desolate? Dismayed- Shall I not be. Have I felt them? Of course. I am only but after all, just a 21 year old Asian boy, living away from the comfort of home and familiarity. But discouraged, I will be not for I know, there are greater rewards waiting for me. I am optimistic and know that there is a promising future for me, only if I work for it. There is no such thing as a free lunch ;)

I will find my way in this land that celebrates Dreams. Taking my first step here, has lit the flame that will burn only so bright. I am hopeful and reassured each day with every sunrise on my face because I know, and I feel it in my spirit, that It is there for the taking.

And with this positivity, trust me, things around you just somehow works for you. Things just fall into their perfect fit. I'm not saying Life is gonna work its way around you, but you will harmonize with your circumstances and find that it works :)

Treasure the Gift that has been given to You, will you now? :) And Live your Life today :)

Love, from New York <3

John

Gaga-ed in Sydney for the Monster Ball... Letting the pictures speak.. ;) Talk to you guys soon...

Btw, I got accepted into Adelphi at New York.. :) Its all confirmed.. :) Pretty soon, I'll be a student again.. :)

THE Ball :P
Ian Ngness..
Final Pose

THE FAME MONSTER.. IT was humungous.. for a moment it was pretty scary
:P
Blood Fountain depicting Alejandro
Show me your TEETH!
MONSTERRR
LoveeGameeee
So Happy I could Die.. Angelic
Spiral Fire on Speechless
Boys boys boyss

Really quick update. Life is moving on TOO fast

On the way to San Francisco from HongKong. Mua, SuAnne, Rachel and Sharon ^^
Finally met Brendan in Melbourne after all these years..
Housemate's Boyfriend's Birthday ^^ He is the sweetest thing.. hahah.. Congrats Emily :P
Our ice cream indulgence in Perth :) Love ya both JeanYi, Zhi Zhi.. ^^

A lil stint on my travels. here goes, to Nanjing..

Right People, Wrong Place, Wrong Time.. Sigh.. Till the next time..

:) Seoul - San Francisco.. Leave that be for now.. Gotta go to Nagoya now.. ciao.

That was for the year 2009... last flight Taipei :) Enjoyed to bits... Oh well, just a short post b4 i leave to Seoul and then to San Francisco from there.. Can't wait for that too.. Was suppose to be in Manchester but changed for this.. Oh well.. good night world..

-jOhN "winter" LiM-

That was New York above there.

And here is Milan below here.



I left a huge part of my life behind in 2009. And yes shit, I ain't gonna go back to those old moves. Lessons learnt, mistakes done, hurdles returned, people are dumb.

I need new excitements, new joys, new goals and decisions. I need a drive. I can feel it, the energy bursting from beneath, I can feel so much energy, but there is no way of channeling it to.

I feel so trapped in this body, so clustered by the world. So prevented and pressured. It makes me feel small all over again.

I really am fearful for what 2010 holds for me. I know. The word fear is the first thing that comes into my mind every time I try to look forward into this year. Yes, Fear. Changes. Big changes are about to happen. Do I fear change? As far as the John I know, he doesn't. In fact, he anticipates changes all the time. However, this is new territory. New beginnings, New Life. But isn't that what he wants? New Life, new start, new. ALL NEW. But all he is blinded with is uncertainties, innate innocence and the pressings for a new start. All he sees are only but of irritable baby steps. But isn't it all about it? Isn't it all about starting from the line. Behind the line. Before. Earlier. Formerly. Heretofore.

Who will ever understand this mind? Truly. Who will ever want to understand this mind? I need to be gosh-darn inspired again. I need meaning again. I need a purpose to all this shit. Who will give one to me? I'm tired of looking at countless objects of preposterous size, blobbing their way in this world with meaningless duties and futile attempts to dazzle a victim. I am not amused by their ways. Neither am I by mine. I need an inspiration that will last. I need to breath once more.

Here goes the mask once again. "latches checked, locks checked, password forgot, keys thrown-away, heart stopped"

-jOhN "breathless" LiM-

PS: I'm becoming a monster now, ain't I? :) Amaze me..